The Searchers

I continue to be amazed by the Google searches that bring people to this sick outpost. The most recent one inspired a haiku:

You did a search for
Michelle Wie underpants, but
found my blog instead.

If I could add another line, I would, but I think you could add one on your own. Michelle, on behalf of Google and the staff of My Sick Mind (me) I apologize. Although, since you have now fired both your caddie and your agent, I'm sure it won't be long before you realize that $20 million you've been raking in and actually win a tournament.
Here's some free advice: Stop trying to play on the men's tour until you prove that you can play on the women's tour.

Meanwhile...

Shaun Rogers of the Detroit Lions was suspended by the NFL: The NFL suspended Rogers without pay for the next four games for violating a league rule on banned substances. The league said Wednesday the violation involved an NFL policy that covers anabolic steroids and related substances.

The story appeared on page E5 of Thursday's Philadelphia Inquirer sports section. Page E5. If it had been Barry Bonds, it would not only be on the front page of the sports section, but the front page of the NEWSPAPER as well. Why does the NFL get a free ride for steroids suspensions when Major League baseball gets the heat?
Do you think those giant linemen and defensive backs got to be that way from eating Wheaties every day? No. They're juicing, just like lots of baseball players. But baseball is somehow Saintified by America, and their players aren't allowed to do the same things that guys in other sports do. So much so, that they have to appear in front of Congressional committees and wave their fingers in denial. What a country.

ROME - A priest acknowledged Thursday that he was naked in saunas and went skinny-dipping with Mark Foley decades ago when the former congressman was a boy in Florida, but denied that the two had sex.
OK...for the record, I've never had sex with Foley either, although I think about it every day. Does that make me a bad person?

NEWARK, N.J. - A Bible camp counselor and a Boy Scout leader were among 125 people arrested nationwide in an Internet child pornography case in which subscribers purchased photos and videos of children engaged in sex acts with adults, federal authorities said Wednesday. "When I say 'hard-core' pornography, I am talking about child pornography that includes images of children as young as six months involved in bondage and sodomy," U.S. Attorney Christopher Christie said. "This type of depraved conduct is something a civilized society cannot tolerate."
That's where you're wrong, Chris. It isn't a civilized society. It's a society based on lawlessness, and if you weren't around to stop it, it would continue unabated, civilization notwithstanding. While it is depraved, by society's standards, it is still part of society.
We are not civilized. If we were, we wouldn't need laws to protect us against grown-ups having sexual contact with six-month old's. It sounds to me like Mr. Christie is a bit naive, especially for a U.S. Attorney.
Civilized society does not tolerate it, but civilized society is the least of your worries. It's the non-civilized you are charged with prosecuting.

Even in our civilized society, the superstition continues...

BUFFALO, N.Y. - Last week's snowstorm in Buffalo brought down countless tree limbs, causing widespread damage to homes and other property. But two large limbs that fell on a statue of Jesus Christ landed in such a way that they formed a cross. Video shows the branches leaning against the statue in such a way that it appears Jesus is carrying a wooden cross. Verrastro told a TV station that her home didn't suffer any damage or lose power during the storm, and she believes the nearby Jesus statue is proof that a higher power was watching over her family last week.

It's all a matter of perspective. From the camera's point of view, the limbs formed a cross. From another, they look like two sticks. The higher power that was watching over HER family apparently didn't extend to the thousands of other heathens who lost power during the storms. How can someone be so egotistical to believe that God was watching her and not other people? Is that a basis for a religion or a superstition that teaches good fortune over real faith?

I suppose God wasn't watching over the Bible camp counselor that was arrested in the child pornography case? I guess that God takes Wednesday's off.
A statue saved her home. OK ... I'll run out and buy a hunk of steel that looks like Superman so that lightning strikes it instead of my home. Thanks, man of steel.

What year is this?