Tuesday, November 14, 2006

I'm in Big Trouble

This may be my last post on My Sick Mind. Why? Expired products, my friends. Today, I drank a bottle of Flavor Splash water that expired in September. I have no idea what the expired chemicals in this wonderful product will do to my delicate insides. Check the obit column of tomorrow's Philadelphia Inquirer. Until then:

I'm not sure where the light-jazz Muzak version of a reggae tune falls on the musical evolutionary scale, but I'd bet it's pretty close to Neanderthal. The strange part is, I found myself tapping my foot to the Pastel-Light Coffee Filter Jazz Orchestra version of "Jammin'" at work today. That's the kind of day it was, folks. I'm blaming the old chemicals. Then, I get home and check the e-mail. I have a threatening message of warning from a fictitious Ebay buyer:

For the record, I'm not sure when in the hell I intend to send the money. I think I'll wait until I hear from the six other people you "cc'd" with this ridiculous nonsense. I love a good scam as much as the next guy, but geez, make an effort!

Speaking of which:
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - U.S.-based automakers left a White House meeting on Tuesday without specific promises of help and doubtful that President Bush shared their concern that Japan manipulates its currency to their disadvantage.

Here's my personal message to the auto industry: If you are incapable of making money selling a product that people not only want but need, then you, my friends, are numbskulls, and deserve whatever fate the Japanese can deal you.
You're as stupid as the airline industry, who seems to go out of its way to irritate and inconvenience its customers with one stupid act after another. The American auto industry is in trouble, and it's nobody's fault but their own.

And, it seems that yesterday's rant on the value of character is lost on the Chinese:
BEIJING - A matchmaking love boat cruise open only to male millionaires and "good-looking and desirable" women is slated to set sail later this month, a state-run Chinese newspaper said Tuesday.
Men on the cruise scheduled to go along Shanghai's Huangpu River must be worth at least 2 million yuan ($250,000), the China Daily quoted organizer Xu Tianli as saying.

So guys, start saving your yuan if you expect to meet eligible Chinese women.

Meanwhile...

Tourists look at The Stonehenge landscape of Salisbury Plain in England, Sept. 15, 2004. Stonehenge is among 21 candidates for the new seven wonders of the world. The seven winners will be announced July 7, 2007 in Lisbon, Portugal. (AP Photo/Dave Caulkin).

Sitting on Benchhenge, I suppose ... anyway, here's my nominee:

Model Katie Price poses for photographers during an event to promote her new lingerie range at a studio in London November 13, 2006. REUTERS/Dylan Martinez (BRITAIN).

Built on May 22, 1978 and still standing, despite three gravity-defying alterations. Take that, Stonehenge.

7 comments:

kimmyk said...

HA! Expired flavored water.
That's insane.

Those crazy ass Chinese people. No offense, but I've yet to ever see a hot Chinese dude. Lot's of beautiful women, but who do these men think they are?!

Never heard of Katie Price.

Anthony said...

OK, so in deference to you, Kimmyk, I added a link in blue on her name. Actually, I don't know who she is either. The photo was in Yahoo news and it was eye-catching ... if ya know what I mean.

Pam said...

Firestarter5, please return Anthony to this blog immediately. I was a clever ploy for you to use words like "Benchhenge" and "gravity-defying alterations" to make us think that you are actually anthony. But I'm not buying it.

Anthony said...

FS5 is filling in for Anthony while he recovers from Old Chemical-induced sickness.

A near-death experience brought on by expired sodium nitrates.

Carmen said...

i think i'm going to stonehenge next summer. i'm excited to see it in person. ;)

Anthony said...

carmen: Sounds like another great trip...just don't back into the thing like Chevy Chase did in that Vacation movie!

Wouldn't want you to cause an international incident. :)

Kate Michele said...

Hmmm may be the expired chemicals will help preserve you!!

Those Chinese!! Arrggg...So I guess it is the world and not just America.

Katie Price huh...would that be "Adult films" she's in?? I'm telling you I don;t find that attractive...it makes her unporptioned. Though I wonder what her intimates line is like...maybe she would actually sell bras in my true size.......