Thursday, October 5, 2006

A Fan of the Big Ass

Imagine my surprise.
At regular intervals, at my office, we receive a packet of post cards for products that we are supposed to try, order or otherwise examine. Generally, I throw the packet in the trash, since I have neither purchasing authority nor interest. Today's packet, however, caught my gaze.

BIG ASS FANS it proclaimed - right there on the top of the pile. A marketing tool, I suppose, to get me to open the packet. While I am not necessarily a fan of the big ass, I feel that each ass has its own charm and appeal. It depends upon the torso on which it sits (figuratively speaking) and should be judged on its own merit. One man's big ass is another man's exquisite derrière.

Upon further review, I found that the fans in question were not the noun, but the transitive verb. The third-person singular simple present fan. Like the one that blows air on you, or your big ass. Was that the point? Fans made for those with the big ass? No, dumbass.

It seems that Occam's Razor is at work here. The simple explanation is the correct one. They were merely big-ass fans. The use of our friend Mr. Hyphen
would have saved me a lot of grammatical guessing.

How odd, I thought, that an advertisement would come via the U.S. Mail to a Professional Office proclaiming the Big Ass Fan. Is this appropriate use of the language in such an environment? It must be, and I must be a bit old-school.

What a change in our language has occurred over the last generation that we can not only use the term
"Big Ass Fan" to describe a device that blows air, but we can advertise it as such and even have a web site with the big ass fan in the name.

Imagine the world 20 years from now, when your sons and daughters may be receiving post cards at their places of business with more progressive language than what came today. Assuming that they are not working in an adult book store or strip club, su
ch things that may seem inappropriate today will be acceptable.

Now, I gots to gets me a Big Ass Fan. Maybe Larry David can find one:



13 comments:

Anthony said...

Holy shit. Does this mean that I'm back on your ridiculous mailing list again?
It took all day to extracate myself from your stupid, lengthy and borderline psychotic e-mails. Not to mention that they would come from a different e-mail address each day, so the "blocker" function was rendered useless.

Oy.

Pam said...

Hey, if you can't go door-to-door to pontificate, I guess blog to blog is the next best thing.

I'd like to quote Gearoge Carlin here: "Keep thy religion to thyself." Jesus doesn't need your cheap sales pitches. Does dr. whoami not see the similarity (IRONY) that his pitch is really not all that different from the ploy used by the "big ass fan" company? Even down to the mascot.

Aw shit. I bet I'm gonna be harassed next now.

Pam said...

AND why no quotes from "remarkable women"? I'd have to add "stupid, lengthy, borderline psychotic and SEXIST e-mails".

supergirlest said...

is it ok to be afraid? 'cause i'am.

Anthony said...

Pam & kara:
Once he got past the "riveting web log" part, he lost my interest.

Geez, doesn't Blogger have a character limit?

If so, there's at least one character I'd like to limit.

supergirlest said...

anthony, you too funny!!!!!!!

Kate Michele said...

First I will comment on your post and say that the limits of marketing are endless....though stupid and a little demeaning it did get you to read it!! Their point all along I'm sure.

Next as to the post that was in your comments: How lazy are you to start witnessing to people by copying and pasting a tract on random blogs...I mean come on!! Get out their and work for those souls!!!

Unknown said...

Yeah Dr. who am I scares me too... but anyway, if you could only see our fans in person it would all make sense. Yes, I work in marketing at Big Ass Fans, and I'm glad our name caught your attention. It means you blogged about us and let others know about your love of the Big Ass. And since you linked us, we like to thank our linkers with our Big Ass swag. That's right, you could be a proud owner of the very merchandise you posted photos of. Just send me your mailing address and I'll send the stuff. My e-mail is cynthia@bigassfans.com. If you want more information on our fans, I'll get that to you as well! Cheers!

kimmyk said...

Big ass fans are not needed this time of the year. But I do like the slogan.

Now that dude up there commenting from hell-what's up with that???

Cynthia rocks the big ass fans!

Pam said...

Cynthia - way to pimp the fans!!

Anthony said...

Way to pimp the fans, indeed! Naturally, I'll run another post when I get the swag.

I do love the Big Ass.

Another free hit for ya, Cynthia.

Unknown said...

Actually, Kimmyk, Big Ass Fans work great at saving money on energy bills in the winter months if you have stratification problems in your facility (where warm air rises and stays at the ceiling.) So you see, we've actually done some research here and are much more than a pretty name s:^)

By the way, we're thinking about changing my job title to Fan Pimp, it has a nice ring to it.

Irish Church Lady :) said...

Interesting post and comments! Whew! But I'm afraid to comment as I don't want Dr. whats-his-name to visit me.

Way to score in the big a$$ dept! I'd like one of those big ass mugs!

O and I love Curb your Enthusiasm!