A Fan of the Big Ass
Imagine my surprise. At regular intervals, at my office, we receive a packet of post cards for products that we are supposed to try, order or otherwise examine. Generally, I throw the packet in the trash, since I have neither purchasing authority nor interest. Today's packet, however, caught my gaze.
BIG ASS FANS it proclaimed - right there on the top of the pile. A marketing tool, I suppose, to get me to open the packet. While I am not necessarily a fan of the big ass, I feel that each ass has its own charm and appeal. It depends upon the torso on which it sits (figuratively speaking) and should be judged on its own merit. One man's big ass is another man's exquisite derrière.
Upon further review, I found that the fans in question were not the noun, but the transitive verb. The third-person singular simple present fan. Like the one that blows air on you, or your big ass. Was that the point? Fans made for those with the big ass? No, dumbass.
It seems that Occam's Razor is at work here. The simple explanation is the correct one. They were merely big-ass fans. The use of our friend Mr. Hyphen would have saved me a lot of grammatical guessing.
How odd, I thought, that an advertisement would come via the U.S. Mail to a Professional Office proclaiming the Big Ass Fan. Is this appropriate use of the language in such an environment? It must be, and I must be a bit old-school.
What a change in our language has occurred over the last generation that we can not only use the term
"Big Ass Fan" to describe a device that blows air, but we can advertise it as such and even have a web site with the big ass fan in the name.Imagine the world 20 years from now, when your sons and daughters may be receiving post cards at their places of business with more progressive language than what came today. Assuming that they are not working in an adult book store or strip club, such things that may seem inappropriate today will be acceptable.
Now, I gots to gets me a Big Ass Fan. Maybe Larry David can find one:
Comments
It took all day to extracate myself from your stupid, lengthy and borderline psychotic e-mails. Not to mention that they would come from a different e-mail address each day, so the "blocker" function was rendered useless.
Oy.
I'd like to quote Gearoge Carlin here: "Keep thy religion to thyself." Jesus doesn't need your cheap sales pitches. Does dr. whoami not see the similarity (IRONY) that his pitch is really not all that different from the ploy used by the "big ass fan" company? Even down to the mascot.
Aw shit. I bet I'm gonna be harassed next now.
Once he got past the "riveting web log" part, he lost my interest.
Geez, doesn't Blogger have a character limit?
If so, there's at least one character I'd like to limit.
Next as to the post that was in your comments: How lazy are you to start witnessing to people by copying and pasting a tract on random blogs...I mean come on!! Get out their and work for those souls!!!
Now that dude up there commenting from hell-what's up with that???
Cynthia rocks the big ass fans!
I do love the Big Ass.
Another free hit for ya, Cynthia.
By the way, we're thinking about changing my job title to Fan Pimp, it has a nice ring to it.
Way to score in the big a$$ dept! I'd like one of those big ass mugs!
O and I love Curb your Enthusiasm!