My Sick Mind

The August 2006 cover of Babytalk magazine. Readers of a US parenting magazine are crying foul over the publication's latest cover depicting a woman breastfeeding, with some calling the photo offensive and disgusting(AFP/HO) When are we ever going to get over this nonsense that parts of the body are "offensive and disgusting?" It's a baby and mother, for chrissakes. My guess is that the people calling the magazine cover disgusting have other issues that they should explore over at Psychology Today magazine. Meanwhile... LONDON (Reuters) - Hundreds of Britons are being urged to attend what is being branded as Europe's first "Masturbate-a-thon", a leading reproductive healthcare charity said on Friday. Marie Stopes International, which is hosting the event with HIV/AIDS charity the Terrence Higgins Trust, said it expected up to 200 people to attend the sponsored masturbation session in Clerkenwell, central London, on Saturday. The Marie Stopes spokeswoma...

This is Paula Creamer, a pro on the LPGA tour. Are those the greatest eyebrows you've ever seen, or what? I know ... what am I doing looking at eyebrows? I figure she spends so much time on them, that someone should appreciate it. Plus, the girl can golf like nobody's business. I don't care if you think I'm strange.

CHARLOTTE , N.C. - Charlotte-Mecklenburg police supervisors offered prizes to officers who wrote the most traffic tickets during an eight-day period over the July Fourth holiday. Five officers from the department's North Division earned $10 gift certificates to Dick's Sporting Goods. "I don't think there is anything inherently evil or bad about rewarding officers for putting in extra effort for a good cause," Major John Diggs (who oversees the division) said. So, now we know the high priority that some law enforcement agencies place on their job. GIve a guy a ticket for going 45 in a 35, make his day miserable, cost him more on his car insurance and make him write a check -- all for a Dick's gift certificate. It seems unethical to me - because it is. I thought police were supposed to be above treating their job like a game show? No, they're just people. People with a badge. Otherwise, they're no better than the rest of us. As far as being heroes , well...

LONDON (Reuters) - Britain's biggest theme park has called off the country's first "National Muslim Fun Day" because of lack of interest, the park said Wednesday. Alton Towers in central England was to open on September 17 for Muslims -- with halal food [meaning: permissible under Islam] , a strict dress code and prayer areas. Sounds like a hoot! Geez, I can't imagine why there was no interest. Probably because there were no freedom fries...

WASHINGTON (AFP) - French fries are back on the menu of cafeterias that cater to US lawmakers on Capital Hill, more than three years after they were replaced by "freedom fries" in anger over France's refusal to join the US-led war in Iraq. It was a ridiculous over-reaction to the terrorist attacks, and a perceived slap at France, and I'll bet you that not one of the lawmakers that ordered them referred to them as freedom fries. Fries will do. Sometimes our lawmakers do things that they think will make them look good, but wind up being silly. France is looking smarter every day. Meanwhile, the Phillies are running ads spotlighting centerfielder Aaron Rowand, and calling him a "hero" because he chased a fly ball into a fence and broke his nose. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I seem to remember a lot of hubbub that started around September 12, 2001 proclaiming that we shouldn't use the word hero loosley. They're athletes who play a sport for our ent...

Try as I might, I couldn't find a list of celebrity Satan worshippers to go with yesterday's Famous Mennonites. They must be out there, and I wonder why they are so shy to share their stories? Shy, I guess. But I did manage to find a site where you can buy a celebrity's soul: http://www.demonical.com/soulforsale.htm I think that I can, however, direct you to a partial list of Satan's pals on FIRESTARTER5 . Meanwhile... It's as hot as Hell. Nice tie-in, eh? It didn't quite get to 100 degrees, but what difference would it make? They tell us that the Heat Index is something like 110, but all they have to tell us is that it's humid, too. I swear, TV news producers must be nursing little woodies when it's really hot or it snows. They love their silly weather stories. Ironically, it's the only news story we can literally look out our window and see for ourselves. You'd think it wouldn't be that big a deal. But that didn't stop our local news s...

* Famous Mennonites Floyd Landis , who was raised conservative Mennonite. JC Chasez from boy band N'Sync. Adolph Rupp is a basketball coaching legend. Cindy Klassen is a Canadian skater and Canada's all-time most decorated Olympian. Jeff Hostetler is a former NFL quarterback. Graham Kerr created the cooking show "The Galloping Gourmet." Simpsons creator Matt Groening is a descendant of Russian Mennonites . James L. Kraft founded the cheese company J.L. Kraft & Bros. Co., which later became Kraft Foods . Milton Hershey founded the Hershey Chocolate Company . Jerome Smucker founded the food conglomerate J. M. Smucker Company, popularly known as Smuckers . Canadian actor Brendan Fehr stars on the television series " Roswell ." Canadian actress Evangeline Lilly from the TV series "Lost" has some Mennonite ancestry. I read some things about the Mennonites, but nowhere did it say that they had unusually high levels of testosterone. Certain...

Canadian actress Pamela Anderson is seen before her wedding ceremony with US musician Kid Rock, aboard a yacht in St. Tropez, southern France Saturday, July 29, 2006. (AP Photo/Lionel Cironneau) Nice wedding dress, Pamela. I'm guessing those are new boobs, an old hat, blue pants and she probably had to borrow underwear. Although, I think she could have taken the time to cut the pockets off the pants - or had one of her "people" do it. Which reminds me, where are the bridesmaids? Who knew she was Canadian? Or that Kid Rock was a musician?

One of the major problems with traveling a great distance for an event is that there is a heightened probability that the event will not justify the effort. Such was the case when we ventured almost 300 miles to Connecticut to see the Dave Matthews Band and Gov't Mule in Hartford, Connecticut. The endearing charm of both bands is that one could follow either of them from city to city and never see the same show twice. That has as its downside the fact that one of the shows may be the dog of the bunch. I've seen the DMB four times this summer (twice in Camden and once in Hershey, PA) and twice last year (Camden and NYC) and I would say that Saturday's show ranks as the dog of the bunch. My friend, who has seen them dozens of times, agreed that it wasn' t one of her favorite shows, either. I've seen Gov't Mule even more than Dave, but always as headliners of their own shows. I wondered how they would react to opening for such a big act. Their set was subdued and...

I'll be taking a short blog break this weekend (insert stifled cheers here). Tonight, I will be in lovely Camden, NJ at the Fiona Apple show, in the 6th row, enraptured by her music. Then, Saturday, it's off to Connecticut for The Dave Matthews Band, with Gov't Mule opening. There may not be a better bill in all of music. That's probably a two-day event, since the drive to CT is over 4 hours, and the show will likely not be over until after midnight. So, Sunday would appear to be a washout. Monday, I have a take-home mid-term for my Auditing class that I will be spending some library time with. So, even though it's classified as a "Vacation day" from work, anyone who knows anything about auditing knows that this test will be no vacation. As a result of this expected inactivity, I have posted several essays. Don't eat them all at once. Save some for later, or else you'll get indigestion. And, stay out of the pool for at least an hour after y...

We spend a great deal of time, effort and money trying to change things which were given to us by our Creator. There are pills and medical treatments for conditions that did not have pills and treatments ten years ago. Drug companies are happy to supply them to us, since we would rather take a pill than admit that there is a bigger problem that requires more sophisticated treatment, and we believe them when they tell us that we have a "disease". Advertisements run on TV every day for some pill or other designed to treat something that we may not even know we have. Sometimes it's attention deficit disorder (commonly called "boredom") and other times it's the frequency of our urination (sometimes called "drinking too much coffee"). In each case, we are told to "ask your doctor if [pill name] is right for you." Chances are it isn't, since often the side-effects are more devistating than the ailment. Besides, isn't it my doctor's...

Proving that we are without racial prejudice is a bit like proving that you have not done something. There is no tangible evidence, and the idea is so foreign to some people, that it defies belief that someone could be free of racial or sexual bias. As caucasians, we are faced with an especially daunting challenge, since we are believed to be so locked into the "white community" (whatever that is) that we would fail to see any other race or support any person who isn't of like color. When I read Pam's post today, the thoughts were re-kindled. Can we be so narrow-minded that the thoughts we have would only be expressed in favor of our own race or religion? Perhaps. In these cases, the group is punished for the actions of one. That's racism, folks. I don't know much about what is going on in the Middle East, but I do know baseball. Earlier this week, the Philadelphia Inquirer ran a story about Phillies first baseman Ryan Howard, who, you may know, recently won...

Whether you are a fan of Howard Stern or not, there is no denying his influence on American radio. His show began broadcasting in the Philadelphia area in 1985, and slowly, other stations began to be manipulated by the structure of his show. The fact that he killed them in the ratings didn't hurt, and those stations adopted a "kill or be killed" attitude toward their programming. Witness the ever-present woman news reader, who for some reason, cannot be in the same room as the hosts (almost always male), just as Robin Quivers was always in a separate room. The fact that it is radio didn't seem to matter. Listeners would know, somehow. Howard did wacky stunts, so the others followed. Howard had girls in the studio, and the others followed. All in the name of ratings. Forget the fact that Stern has a gift, and could entice listeners with women that his audience could not see, other hosts figured that all they had to do was bring women into the studio and the world would...

HOUSTON - In a dramatic turnaround from her first murder trial, Andrea Yates was found not guilty by reason of insanity yesterday in the drowning of her five children in a bathtub. Yates' chief attorney, George Parnham, called the new verdict: "a watershed for mental illness and the criminal justice system." Damn ... a watershed for mental illness is the phrase I was going to use as the sub-heading for the blog. Now I'll probably have to buy it from that attorney. Aside from being a poor choice of metaphor, I don't know why the mentally ill needed a watershed moment, but apparently the criminal justice system does. In this instance, perhaps criminal justice is the biggest oxymoron of 2006. Unless you consider that justice has been given to the criminal, then it's just stupid. I just don't get the "not guilty by reason of insanity" defense. Either she is guilty or not. Anyone who commits a crime is mentally ill in some manner, and if someone is...

Somebody said, "Don't sweat the small stuff", to which the common reply is "it's all small stuff." That may be true, but in the end, isn't it the small stuff that adds up to big stuff? Here's a short list of 5 "small stuff" things that occur on such a repetitive basis that they add up to big stuff: THE PARKING LOT STALKER - I'm at the mall, walking toward my car. Usually (as faithful readers know) I grab the first space I see, which is generally nearer the road than the mall. Meanwhile, "fat-ass SUV" is riding my ass at 4mph waiting for me to find my car and vacate the space, so he can load up. Generally, they are disappointed and give up long before I reach my car. SECRET: Sometimes I pretend to forget where I parked, and wander over to the other lane, out of reach of the stalker. THE LINE JUMPER - I'm standing in line at the inappropriately named convenience store, when a new cashier checks in and shouts, "I ca...

There are water shortages, nursing shortages, trucker shortages, doctor shortages and OH MY GOD Veggies, there's a Lentil Shortage ! There's even a Toor Dal shortage (as if you didn't know). But the worst kind of shortage is going on right under our noses, and we are so numb to it that we haven't adopted a colored bracelet or a web site devoted to it. So, allow me, in my own sick manner, to alert you to the next crisis at our doorstep. Celebrity Shortage That's right, Mr. and Mrs. America, there is a celebrity shortage. You don't think so? How else to explain the current crop of TV programs devoted to nothing other than creating stars? Tonight alone, there are three programs that are dedicated to helping Hollywood and the entertainment industry solve this growing crisis. Rock Star: Supernova on CBS, The One: Making a Music Star on ABC and Last Comic Standing on NBC, which I credit with being bold enough not to use a colon in its title. How about this? Last ...

Finally, the schmoes from American Idol visited our fair city. Faithful readers will no doubt remember my rant on the aptly named Pop Tarts Present American Idol . You remember, right? For some reason, the Wachovia Center was sold out for this thing. No accounting for taste. A great review appeared in The Philadelphia Inquirer this morning. A few excerpts: Throaty, bald Chris (no last names!) led his fellow boy-Idols through a calmly crooned take on Guns N' Roses' "Patience." Bonde's fireplug MC Marina Ribatski barked Portuguese rhymes to DJ Diplo's hyper-baile beats and rapid-fire G-N'-R samples when she wasn't spitting beer. What could the difference be, if not spittle. And it got even better (worse?) when it came time for the Ford Motor Company's nearly-famous spazzy spokesman: There wasn't much calm to Taylor. From running through the audience to a hokey "Jailhouse Rock" to his goofball dancing, he was a king of twitchiness. Mi...

I stumbled across CNN today, and saw that they were promoting the "Crisis in the Middle East - Day 12" as their lead story - which, of course it is. The thing I had a problem with was that they are calling it "Day 12". Isn't it more like "Day 12 million"? When haven't they had some crisis over there? Here's a story idea: Day 12 - Nothing going on in Israel. One religious group or another has been fighting another religious group since the dawn of time, and it isn't about to end anytime soon, Condoleezza Rice notwithstanding. The sad part is, our God has placed the world's most important commodity - oil - smack in the middle of that gang of religious kooks. What a cruel joke on humanity. Usually, I would say that what happens elsewhere is none of our business, and I suppose to some extent it is. But, with the price of gasoline soon to be close to $4 a gallon, it does become our problem. All of which makes me an interested by...

I innocently opened the Amazon.com window, and clicked on the "Anthony's Store" tab, thinking that there would be some heretofore unknown treasures awaiting. What does Amazon think I should be reading? Much to my surprise, the number two selection was a little tome called " Paying for Sex : The Gentlemen's Guide To Web Porn, Strip Clubs, Prostitutes & Escorts" At least they think I'm a gentleman. How did Amazon know? (I wondered quietly to myself). Finally, the last option available had been accounted for (so to speak). Pay for it - what a novel concept! Why bother with the incessant dinner dates, dancing and subsequent nonsense that goes with the dating process and jump right to the goodies? They skipped right over " How to Pick Up Women " and " How to be a Porn Director " and went right to the issue at hand (so to speak). Nice going, Amazon! I'll have to check my cookies to see what is giving them these (accurate) ide...

The House Committee on Government Reform has begun an inquiry into allegations that White House officials edited reports on global warming to play down the threat it poses. In addition, the U.S. Public Interest Research Group predicted that energy companies' plans to build more than 150 new coal-fired power plants will increase U.S. carbon dioxide emissions by 25% above 2004 levels. The House committee chairman, Rep. Tom Davis [R-Va] and Rep. Henry Waxman [D-Ca] will request data from the White House and hold hearings into whether the White House Council on Environmental Quality (there's an oxymoron for ya) intentionally diluted scientific information on the threat of global warming. So, let's take a look at what we have here... 1 - We have a bi-partisan government committee who has reason to believe that the White House (the President) has altered or withheld information from the public and Congress. 2 - An organization created by the states to act as a watchdog in th...