Tuesday, August 1, 2006

My Little Heathens

Try as I might, I couldn't find a list of celebrity Satan worshippers to go with yesterday's Famous Mennonites. They must be out there, and I wonder why they are so shy to share their stories? Shy, I guess. But I did manage to find a site where you can buy a celebrity's soul:
I think that I can, however, direct you to a partial list of Satan's pals on FIRESTARTER5.
It's as hot as Hell. Nice tie-in, eh? It didn't quite get to 100 degrees, but what difference would it make? They tell us that the Heat Index is something like 110, but all they have to tell us is that it's humid, too. I swear, TV news producers must be nursing little woodies when it's really hot or it snows. They love their silly weather stories. Ironically, it's the only news story we can literally look out our window and see for ourselves. You'd think it wouldn't be that big a deal.
But that didn't stop our local news spent the first ten minutes of the 6 o'clock report telling us how hot it was. Action News (our ABC affiliate) sent 4 reporters to various hot locations to clue us in on the heat, in case we weren't sure that it was hot everywhere. The only reason they stopped at ten minutes is because they had to go to commercial. But, they came right back with the weather forecast. TOMORROW: Hot. Probably humid, too.
One reporter was at the beach (ya think it was hot there?), one in a city neighborhood where it was particularly hot, another followed the Phillie Phanatic around in his green suit that must smell as bad as it looks, and another at the Jimmy Buffet concert at the Tweeter Center in Camden - fouling the luster given it by Fiona Apple a mere four days ago. Stinkin' Parrot heads. It was hot everywhere.
Local news spent almost as much time on the weather as MSNBC spent on the Mel Gibson story. Once again, we have been duped into financially supporting yet another skunk. It's almost as bad as one of your deadbeat relatives who continually cons you out of money for what he tells you is food and rent, but later you find out that he's been spending it on whores and beer. For Mel, that would have been an improvement.


kimmyk said...

Our A/C went out at work today.

Not a good combo:

sick people
close quarters

Gah. I couldn't wait to get out of there.

Anthony said...

Heat, sick people and close quarters. Sounds like the sauna at Michael Jackson's house.

Pam said...

This post inspired me so much, I took my comment and turned it into a blog post.