Money for nothing.

I paid for our Phillies post-season tickets today. It would have helped to have been drunk, but I did it during lunch at work so ... not. $605 for two tickets to three games. They're more expensive than the tickets last year, which figures, until you realize that most of us have less money than we did last year.

Part of the deal was that, if I paid before September 10 I would be put into a lottery to be able to purchase tickets to additional games. Those are the kind of lotteries I win - where I get to spend money. Congratulations, you're eligible to buy two more tickets! Lucky me. StubHub is calling.

Meanwhile, the end of civilization is nigh:

TOKYO - Toyota Motor Corp. is developing a fail-safe system for cars that detects drunken drivers and automatically shuts the vehicle down if sensors pick up signs of excessive alcohol consumption, a news report said Wednesday.
Cars fitted with the detection system will not start if sweat sensors in the driving wheel detect high levels of alcohol in the driver's bloodstream, according to a report carried by the mass-circulation daily, Asahi Shimbun. The system could also kick in if the sensors detect abnormal steering, or if a special camera shows that the driver's pupils are not in focus. The car is then slowed to a halt, the report said.

In my younger days, I fantasised about owning a bar and having big-screen TVs that showed local sporting events. A gathering place for the local drunken populace. Ala Archie Bunker in "Archie's Place."

Since then, the worm has turned on driving while intoxicated. When I started driving in 1975, if you were pulled over while weaving along the road, the cops would say, "You be more careful next time," and take your unused beer and let you drive home. Now, you wind up handcuffed in the back of a squad car and face a loss of driving privileges and other financial hardships. What a change in a mere 25 years.

In 5 years, owning a bar will become a liability, and your drinking will be monitored while you're at the bar, and if you don't have a nun or a sober 18 year-old with you, you'll either be forced to take an expensive cab ride or risk having your car shut down just before the cops pull you over and TASER you for being .08 behind the wheel. I now fantasise about living until I'm 70.

It's a sea change, my friends. Prepare to start ordering Michelob Ultra and sipping tonic water when you go out for a buzz. Point zero two will be your buzz.