Grand old what now?

It isn't easy keeping up with this. I'm moody, and for those of you old enough to remember the "Mister Ed" TV show, you'll remember the song lyric: Mister Ed will never speak unless he has something to say. That's the way it is with Mister Me. I'm not much for small talk and I don't yammer on about anything unless I feel strongly about the subject.

Such has been the case lately, and whenever I'm feeling that way I know that all I need to do is turn on the TV news.

So, there's CNN's Jeannie Most doing a fluff piece about Sarah Palin and the sensation that has resulted over her eyeglasses. Jeannie was in a mall showing people a photo of Palin and asking whether they liked her glasses. Most of them said yes, and one said that her glasses were the best thing about her. A backhanded compliment if ever I've heard one.

As it turns out, optometrists are swamped with orders from people who want to be "Palinized". One presumes being Palinized stops at the eyeglasses. Otherwise, I'd figure we would develop into a race of women who spout reactionary right wing politics and name their children after high school geometry subjects.

Such is the shallowness of the current presidential campaign, and methinks that the McCain camp (heretofore known as The Bunker) knew that her MILFness would translate into at least a percentage point of voters who care more about appearance than substance. We Americans are all about appearance.

The third strike came when Most unveiled the latest Action Figure based on her MILFness. Replete with black-rimmed eyeglasses (where did they come from?).

The dolls are $26.95, but for an extra two bucks you can make her look like a real Republican with a simulated leather coat, white mini skirt and thigh-holstered gun. The gun makes it more realistic, don't-cha-think?

Of course, to be a real action figure, one must first have taken some action, and I'm thinking that Sarah falls short on that minimum requirement.

The front page of the web site proclaims:

WHEN SARAH PALIN BECOMES VICE PRESIDENT THESE POLITICAL ACTION FIGURES/DOLLS WILL BE HOT COLLECTIBLES.

I would counter that:

WHEN SARAH PALIN FADES INTO HISTORY AS PART OF A LOSING PRESIDENTIAL TICKET, THESE ACTION FIGURES/DOLLS WILL MAKE FINE CHEW TOYS FOR YOUR LARGE DOGS OR SMALL CHILDREN.

Who's up for lifting the little skirt and checking to see exactly what G.O.P. stands for?