My Sick Mind

Sometimes I'm not sure what to rant about. And then, I read a couple of news stories that make my head spin, and it all becomes clear . 15-year-old Sam Saurs, of Port Orchard, Washington not only wore a pair of spiky pumps to school, but a flowy, low-cut dress and make-up. He said he felt "pretty" that day, but the dean at Sedgwick Junior High School told him he was a distraction and to go home, Q13 Fox News reported. That prompted Saurs to tell the dean he was being sexist, the station said. That led to the boy's suspension for the rest of the school year, KING 5 reported. It was later reduced to three days. The ninth grader ended up missing the school's dance and annual trip to Wild Waves. "If anything, it makes me want to be more out there and more spontaneous and crazy," Saurs told KING 5. The station reported the boy had been suspended before for wearing makeup and hats to school. His mother said the school does have a ban on hats, but n...

The official follow-up to this happened today, and one would imagine that it brought the ugliness to a close. Or at least one would hope it does. Since no actual laws were broken, we are left only with former Congressman Weiner's confession, which predictably turned into a media circus. As a matter of fact: Weinergate became a major story in the U.S. news cycle during the past several weeks. Coverage of the saga occupied 17 percent of the news hole between June 6 and June 12, according to the Pew Research Center's Project for Excellence in Journalism, finishing well ahead of the ongoing unrest in the Middle East, the economy, and the 2012 presidential election. "News hole" is an interesting (and official) term for what went on over the past month. Another fascinating thing is how the suffix gate becomes attached to every minor scandal. It's the aholic for scandal. People who like chocolate and shopping are chocoholics and shopaholics , even though choco...

There is a reason they're called "privates." Not the least of which is that most people don't want to see them, and the most of which is that nobody wants to see them. If we want to see them we know where to go and we know whom to ask, which is pretty much any guy. If you ask them, they will respond like the wind with a photo of their junk that will appear either in your e-mail inbox or on your cell phone. The popular stories concern NFL quarterbacks and United States Congressmen sending unsolicited photos of their stuff to women in an attempt (one presumes) to woo them and/or make the women think that they are missing out on something great by not hooking up with the guys. Almost nothing could be further from the truth. Here is the big secret guys: Women do not nor do they wish to see anything you normally keep in your pants out of view from the general public. I wish I didn't have to be the one to tell you this, but you need to hear it from somebody. Ev...

The power of cigarettes. Last week, I was in a local Wawa, standing in line with my newspaper, yogurt and sundries. A woman in front of me thought I might benefit from moving in front of her. "I have a split transaction," she said, holding out a card that looked like a gift card but was actually a debit card. I let her go. She wanted a pack of Newport cigarettes and had some change that she had apparently pulled from her sofa cushions and car seats. The cigs were $7.35 and she had all but $1.35 in nickels, dimes and pennies strewn about on the counter. She had six dollars in change and attempted to put the remaining $1.35 on her card. "It's rejected," the cashier said as the bad news came up on her screen. "That's impossible. I went down to Wachovia this morning and checked to see how much was in the account, and there's a dollar-thirty-five in there. Swipe it again." "Rejected." This went on a few times until the line built up t...

I don't know what gets into people sometimes. Most of what they think, say and do is harmless because it affects only themselves. Drive around without your seat belt on, smoke, drink too much and eat until you can't fit through your door - it's on you. Every once in a while something comes along that grabs the public's interest and makes a small group of people more influential than they should be. Such was the case with all this "end of the world" talk on Saturday. There was a lot leading up to it, and even though I saw a few of the nut jobs on the streets of Philadelphia in March , I didn't make the connection until recently. Quickly, the idea became a source of national jokes. I don't think that's what religion is supposed to be and I'm sure the people in charge of organized religion (them) cringed a little (a lot) when this idea took hold and captivated a nation. At first I thought it was sad that so many people would pay attention ...

I bought a new lens for my camera today. It's a Tamron 70-300 zoom that should come in handy for my spy work and photos of small things from far away. One of the things that comes with electronics and other sensitive equipment are those desiccant bags. It's the kind of thing you pick out of the box, glance at and throw away. Curiously, they always include the phrase "Do not eat," as though at some point somebody either tried to eat it whole or (more likely) placed it in hot water to make Desiccant Tea. Since the back of the package says "Do Not Open," that makes the Do Not Eat warning rather superfluous. How can I eat it if I can't open it? Other than its odd spelling (one s and two c 's) I don't know too much about desiccant. I don't know exactly what desiccant is, but I know enough not to eat something that comes packaged in a box that contains a camera lens. It's one of my guidelines. The bottom of the package says...

At our yard sale on Saturday, my friend Jennifer and I were talking about riding roller coasters and other such things. I'm not a thrill-seeker, and I prefer to keep my feet on the ground unless required to have them leave it. I don't jump out of working airplanes, bungee jump, eat exotic foods or generally challenge my body to survive some extraordinary experience. I prefer the comfort of the mundane. I watch the American Chopper show regularly. I enjoy watching people build things from scratch and I'm interested in the process of making a motor vehicle. That's where my fascination with motorcycles ends. I have no desire to buy one or ride one on the highway. In the hierarchy of vehicles, the motorcycle is at the bottom of the food chain, below Smart Cars and barely above the bicycle as a mode of transportation. One of my co-workers was involved in a motorcycle accident on Saturday in which his wife and her sister were killed instantly when a pick-up truck cros...

I participated in a yard sale today. My condo association sponsored it, ran newspaper ads and gave us the space. All it cost was $10 for the privilege. It gives us the chance to rid ourselves of the accumulated junk that we don't have room for in our already-cramped condos. Ebay ruins yard sales. The online experience allows bidders to price-up an item that they want and what sellers wind up with is a fair market value for their stuff. The same cannot be said for yard sales. People who attend yard sales work from the advantage of supply and demand. We have the supply and no longer demand the stuff, so the shoppers expect incredible deals for things that are worth much more than their eventual selling price. I don't know if they have an official name, but I call them The Yardies. For example, I had a box of CDs that I no longer listen to. Either it's because I have already converted them to mp3 files or I just don't want to listen to them. Either way, the CDs are ...

OK, so let's look at this, from today's news... WASHINGTON – Some of the first information gleaned from Osama bin Laden's compound indicates al-Qaida considered attacking U.S. trains on the upcoming anniversary of the Sept. 11 attacks. But counter-terrorism officials say they believe the planning never got beyond the initial phase and have no recent intelligence pointing to an active plot for such an attack. As of February 2010, the terror organization was considering plans to attack the U.S. on the 10th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks. One idea was to tamper with an unspecified U.S. rail track so that a train would fall off the track at a valley or a bridge, according to a joint FBI and Homeland Security bulletin sent to law enforcement officials around the country Thursday. And now , this, from My Sick Mind, November 27, 2010 ... We are nutty about airports because of what happened on September 11, 2001; but some of it was inherited from prior days. I suppose the reason...

I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that. - Martin Luther King Jr. Americans are big on revenge. It's part of the reason why movies like "Die Hard" and those Charles Bronson "Death Wish" films were big hits. We like punching back. While most of us were minding our own business late on Sunday night, we got the announcement that the United States had punched back. Albeit well after the wounds had a chance to start closing, but we punched back nonetheless. That resulted in a jingoistic outpouring of emotions and chanting unseen since the last time the Arabs did something big. Town squares seem to look the same whether they are in front of the White House or in front of a mosque in Iraq. Extremism always looks the same: People wi...

"This ain't England. We threw England out of here a long time ago. We don't want no more parts of England." - Archie Bunker, circa 1971 A lot has changed since that All in the Family episode aired. A lot. For instance, I didn't use the full quote which included a term for homosexuals that could get me placed on administrative leave. Nor did I place it in its full context, in which Archie argued that the English way of life was ... well, leaning toward homosexuality. What is interesting about the relationship between America and England is that we (Americans) somehow feel a link or kinship with Great Britian. Some of it stems from the music "invasion" of the early 1960s. Some of it has to do with the fact that we speak a similar language. That's important to Americans. Otherwise, we really shouldn't be so interested in England, since we did actually throw them out of here, Archie's viewpoint notwithstanding. We annexed ourselves fro...

In the world of economics, there is a principle called The Everett Rogers Diffusion of innovations theory . Among the five categories of product adopters there are people who are called Early Adopters . Those are the ones who are first in line for the newest piece of technology. They want to be the ones to try something before anyone else, and are willing to take a chance on buying something that may not be perfect. I tend to lean toward the late majority; being somewhat skeptical and traditional. I think it has more to do with age and income than attitude, but I digress. With that in mind, I made my first visit to The Cheesecake Factory today. It isn't that I didn't know what to expect, what with the name of the place having cheesecake in it and all. Just like Hooters, Five Guys Burgers and Saladworks; the name sort of gives away the theme. The menu looks like a novella, so the waitress took some time to explain what was going on. As it turns out, there are ...

I was in Atlanta about 15 years ago. I went to the Georgia Dome, Coca-Cola museum, climbed Stone Mountain and took the tour of CNN. Here's a travel tip: Unless you're going to Atlanta for a wedding, funeral or big-time sporting event, once you've done all the things I listed, there isn't any reason to go back. Stone Mountain is literally a giant stone mountain (hence the name) with a carving on the side. When I say that a mountain made of stone is the biggest tourist attraction, it doesn't say much for the rest of the tourist attractions. I flew over it on my way in, and had to rub-down the goose pimples. Or maybe it was the first signs of heat rash? The Coke museum is just a little more kitsch than you'd see at a typical TGI Friday's. The CNN tour is notable only if you get there when a big story is breaking and the Georgia Dome is an indoor sports arena. That's right. Oh - the other reason to go to Atlanta: Your employer sends you to a bus...

SAN FRANCISCO – Amazon.com Inc. is dropping the price on its Kindle e-reader, but the change comes with a trade-off: On-screen ads. The online retailer was set to announce Tuesday that the new Kindle with Special Offers will cost $114 — $25 less than the currently lowest-priced Kindle — and include advertisements on the bottom of the device's home page and on its screen savers. Seattle-based Amazon will start shipping the newest Kindle on May 3, and it will also be sold in Target and Best Buy stores on that date. Now we know what retailers think of us. We're worth 25 dollars. Amazon figures you'll buy a Kindle for 25 dollars less than its regular price if all you have to do to save that money is put up with some advertising. They say every man has his price. Yours has been set. In a demo of the device, a screen saver showed a deal where customers would pay $10 for a $20 gift card to Amazon. If a user is interested in that deal, they can click to have details of the offe...

Sports is strange. Things that happen in sports don't happen in real life, and vice-versa. It's an odd thing, and strange the way some people separate sports from everything else. Last week I went to Baltimore for the Orioles home opener. On my way out, I bought a polo shirt with the bird and "Orioles" written underneath. When I wore it to work the next day you'd have thought I was wearing a Swastika necktie. "Hey, I thought you were a Phillies fan!" "What's this - Orioles?" "What's with the Orioles shirt?" I explained that I have been going to Orioles games since the 80s, and I like the Orioles, the ballpark and I enjoy visiting Baltimore. What I really wanted to say was, "Fuck you, I'll wear what I want. How about losing 50 pounds, tubby." Apparently, we're only allowed to wear one team's items, and we're especially only allowed to support the local teams. To me, I'm limiting myself if I onl...

I watch that "Intervention" TV show once in a while. It's always the same three things: Crack or heroin addiction A guy who drinks too much Some eating disorder – generally not eating enough That's the Intervention Trifecta. Of course, there are the rare occurances of combinations of the three – in pairs or all three. For instance, a crack-addicted alcoholic anorexic . That's a series. It is kind of boring seeing the same problems over and over. They end the same way: They follow the guy around for a while, watching him stumble, shoot-up or throw up for a few weeks (that's called enabling ) and then assemble the family so that they can get that bald-headed psychiatrist to tell him how screwed up his life is and send him off to a 3-week rehab in Florida. Some of us would view that as a paid vacation. Then, one of his family members (usually a displaced uncle or some grandparent who he pissed on a few times) gets up and reads a heart-felt letter of re...

News story: As Democrats in the Senate argue that "ideology" is the only thing standing in the way of a deal to avert a government shutdown, House Republicans are countering that's simply not true. Hmm … point well made. They can't even agree on what is causing the disagreement. I say, let them shut it down. Maybe we'll see how well we do without them. Or … are they afraid we'll realize they aren't necessary? If it is shut down long enough, private industry will take over many services, and probably for less cost. And then, the displaced government workers can try working a real job for a change. Talk about culture shock.

I may have found a future career for myself once my working days are over. I could open a driving school. But not your ordinary driving school - oh no. This would be a driving school that would spend all of its time teaching one particular aspect of driving. The Yield Sign. The yield sign is the most misunderstood appliance on the highway. My driving school would spend a day or two on it, and students would not graduate (or be allowed to drive at all) until they possessed a total understanding of the sign and what it means to drivers who approach it on the road. Certainly, drivers understand "Stop" signs and what the colored lights mean. They know that railroad crossings are for trains. They know that speed limit signs signify the "limit of speed" -- OK, so maybe they don't understand everything they see on the road, but let's take it one sign at a time. Let's say that the yield sign is applied to your everyday life. You're standing in line...

A letter to the Inquirer editors on Thursday got me thinking about the Public Broadcasting System and its relevance. Apparently, there is a move afoot to strip PBS of its government funding, and perhaps that time has indeed come. PBS had its glory in the old days of three networks and (maybe) a handful of UHF stations, when commercial-free television was a rare thing of beauty and something worth paying for. When I was a kid (when dinosaurs roamed the earth) having a commercial-free television channel was a huge deal. We were shown landmark programs like "Monty Python's Flying Circus" and Carl Sagan's "Cosmos." We were treated to regular doses of "Nova," "Masterpiece Theater" and the more mundane "Mister Rogers Neighborhood." It was all great stuff, and unique in its element. Now, with the advent of cable and premium channels like HBO and Showtime, the novelty of commercial-free television has worn off. Consumers get the prem...

I finally figred out what I don't like about those store discount cards. It's the clique of the "store club" that reminds me of how good things came only to those who belonged. Such is the case at the grocery store. Cashier: Do you have a [store] card? Me: No. I'm only here because I have a gift card. Cashier: Well, I can't give you the sale prices unless you have a card. Me: OK. There I was, in the checkout line. The gift card has been unused since Christmas. I decided to spend it on nonsense items - trash bags, bird seed, toilet paper and paper towels - items that are ultimately destroyed upon use. Somehow, I feel as though spending "free money" on things that will be used to be destroyed is a minor victory. Such is the state of my life. I feed the birds. I know what you're saying, "Hey, feed yourself and f**k the birds." Well, then maybe you should help. That giant mess to the left of the tree is a suet cake. Since the suet ...