Stay in Your Lane

I have lived my life thinking that we are all "created equal."  As I grow older, and find myself at the tail end of my working career, I have come to question that philosphy. In fact, we are not all created equally, and I have come to realize that I should not only realize that, but also endeavor to "stay in my lane."  That is, maintain relationships with people in my economic strata and ignore those outside of it.

As I and some of my co-workers enter our so-called "retirement" at my company, discussions about our personal finances and prospects for life after work have come to center stage, and the more of them I hear, the more I feel like I should stay in my lane.

When the 38 of us met in the company’s conference room in November, I looked around and realized that I was at the low end of the pay scale.  I have never been part of management, and certainly not a Director or Vice President of anything, as many of my co-workers have been.  Being on my own for the majority of my life there, I have also never been privileged to have a working spouse or fortunate enough to have someone to lean on financially.

While it is true that I can turn ten dollars into twenty dollars, it is also true that I could never turn a thousand dollars into two thousand dollars, because all I have is ten dollars.  And, there’s the rub.  I have co-workers who complain that the recent market downturn has cost them "a half a million dollars."  OK, then.  It cost me far less than that.  I’d be privileged if any downturn cost me a half million dollars.

Matching six percent of my 28 years worth of meager salary is nowhere near the six percent of others’ salaries which were twice mine, and included management bonuses and other perks.  I did the best I could with what I had, and it never occurred to me how far away I was from the others until this retirement package came up.  Most of them will actually retire.  I will have to continue to work until I feel like I have enough money to get me through to my death - whenever I anticipate that to be. Since I am nearly 62, it’s not a pleasant thing to think about.

It all reminded me of a tenet of my life that I have tried to adhere to. Stay in your lane.  Associate with your own kind.  Trying to keep up with those who are above your financial or social strata enduces heartache and stress.  I can’t keep up with people who earn twice my salary or who are part of a larger social group, and it is too much of a strain on my life to try.  It is healthful to realize my place.  I am a single, lonely, lower-middle-class peon who will struggle throughout his life to maintain any semblance of a healthy lifestyle.  Without gainful employment, my life will be day-to-day, and it will benefit me to realize this and not try to measure myself against those who have had traveled an easier road.

I’ll keep turning ten dollars into twenty, but I will never have any more than that.