Stirring it up.

There's nothing worse than a shit stirrer. You know the type: People who do things that they know will draw attention to themselves, then get twisted up over the attention it draws to themselves. It's a form of mental illness. To wit:

EASTON, Pa. – The father of 3-year-old Adolf Hitler Campbell, denied a birthday cake with the child's full name on it by one New Jersey supermarket, is asking for a little tolerance. Heath Campbell and his wife, Deborah, are upset not only with the decision made by the Greenwich ShopRite, but with an outpouring of angry Internet postings in response to a local newspaper article over the weekend on their flare-up over frosting.

The first thing happened three years ago when Mister and Missus dumbass named a kid Adolph Hitler Campbell. They're Americans, one presumes. Giving a child the middle name Hitler is questionable judgment at the least and at the most downright stupid. It's the same reason you wouldn't name him Dick Sucker Campbell or any sort of name that can either be shortened or changed in some way that simulates a bodily function. Mulva.

"I think people need to take their heads out of the cloud they've been in and start focusing on the future and not on the past," Heath Campbell said Tuesday in an interview conducted in Easton, on the other side of the Delaware River from where the family lives in Hunterdon County, N.J.
"There's a new president and he says it's time for a change; well, then it's time for a change," the 35-year-old continued. "They need to accept a name. A name's a name. The kid isn't going to grow up and do what (Hitler) did." Deborah Campbell, 25, said she phoned in her order last week to the Shop Rite. When she told the bakery department she wanted her son's name spelled out, she was told to talk to a supervisor, who denied the request.

How do they know what the kid is going to grow up and do? Maybe the kid cures cancer. Then we have to say, "Adolph Hitler Campbell cured cancer." Maybe he develops a deep-rooted psychotic disorder and lives a life of isolation? Or maybe he joins the Klan? Who's to say?

The second thing that happened was that the parents specifically requested the child's full name be put on the cake. They only did that because the child's middle name was Hitler. That's called stirring. Who puts a kid's full name on a birthday cake? Happy Birthday Adolph would probably do the trick, since I doubt that there is more than one kid named Adolph at the party and there is no reason for the cake to be name-specific. It's a tactic to draw attention. Next, comes part three.

Heath Campbell said he named his son after Adolf Hitler because he liked the name and because "no one else in the world would have that name." He sounded surprised by all the controversy the dispute had generated.

That's the dumbass part. No two children in the world would be named Adolph Hitler because it's a shitty name for a kid and you might want to think about changing it before the kid is beaten senseless by people of all races, creeds and colors. Why invite trouble by intentionally naming the kid after a heartless man who presided over the systematic genocide of an estimated six million Jews and established a totalitarian and fascist dictatorship?

You could have named him George Walker Campbell.

Talk amongst yourselves.