Saturday, December 23, 2006

Bill O'Reilly is a Fucking Idiot ... and Other Talking Points

Merry Christmas

I think Bill O'Reilly is a Fucking Idiot would have made a great name for the blog, but I think Al Franken has a better grasp of it.
And I guess I wouldn't mind so much, if Bill was one of those nut-jobs standing on the street corner screaming about some war crimes or how God is gonna take us up to Heaven ... but he's a nut-job with major cable TV time, which really irritates me. Consider this exchange on that stupid TV show of his:

O'REILLY: Sixty-two percent of Americans will have a Christmas tree, but most of the trees will be artificial.

E.D. HILL (co-host): That surprises me. Only 62 percent have Christmas...

O'REILLY: Yeah. And here - and here's a very - here's something that Rasmussen didn't poll but I know, that most women who like artificial trees...

HILL: Yeah?

O'REILLY: ...have artificial breasts.

He went on to say that he saw a study done at UCLA that confirmed his stupid nonsense. I think the University should sue him for implicating their researchers. I could go for another scandal involving him. It's been a long time since the last one.

If you want, you can read the entire exchange here, and even listen to it, if you have a strong stomach.

And, here's something that I know, Bill. Most people who watch your show and believe the nonsense you spout have artificial intelligence. So, in a way, you're reaching your target audience. People that are just as stupid as you are. It's a match made in Heaven, except for the fact that I really don't want to have to pay for cable that includes Fox "News" or your ridiculous program. Where's a la carte programming when I need it?

Bill should realize that there's a place for humor and a place for reporting facts. Apparently, he doesn't know where that place is. I do. It's way over there ... near PBS or the New York Times or the Philadelphia Inquirer ... Fox isn't even in the same time zone as the truth. Leave the humor to Jon Stewart. Unlike you, he's actually funny.
And while we're at it, how do they get away with calling it "News"? More than half of their programs are opinion shows, and that stupid investing show they run on Sunday features five people yelling over each other with some dumb idea they just thought up, including Wayne Rogers, who somehow became an investment advisor all of a sudden. Of course, I really can't complain, if the dopes watching it are investing and losing their money, it just serves to even-out the wealth spectrum.
All it leaves is for Fox to even up its intellectual spectrum, but we know that isn't going to happen.

O'REILLY: We gotta take a break - we gotta take a break, and we'll be back with Reverend Barry Lynn to talk about why there's so much angst about Christmas in a moment.

Holy crap, Bill.
There's so much angst about Christmas because you won't let up! Give me a break, why don't-cha? People are getting worked up over saying "Merry Christmas", out of fear that they're either saying it to a Jewish person, or that the politically correct Happy Holidays is the catch-all for dumbasses. I've had more people say "Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays" to me that I want to puke. Make up your mind. If you want to say "Merry Christmas", then say it! Be a man (or woman) and make a statement, instead of kowtowing to every stupid special interest group that can't wait for a baby Jesus to show up on municipal property or have a "Holiday Party" at Christmas.

Leave it to a so-called religious holiday to create a division in people. What would Jesus do? He'd tell Bill to "shut the fuck up", have some egg nog and reign fire down on his stupid TV show, while overturning the cameras and making Bill's head explode and his eyeballs melt like that guy in the Indiana Jones movie. Stare at the Ark, Bill. It's OK, really.

It's artificial. Just like you.

10 comments:

Pam said...

There really ought to be a "truth in advertising" law that prevents Faux news from calling themselves news...and Bill O'Reilly from calling himself an intelligent life form.

Fabulous post, Anthony!

supergirlest said...

i really wish i could remember where i saw the interview (and exactly what he said now that spurred my ah-ha moment) - i think it was on stewart's show some time ago after bill released a book - but it occured to me about midway through that this guy doesn't even really believe half of what he spouts. it's all about the ratings, baby. and book sales.

ask me how i about keeled over when i realized that i actually have something in common with bill. (i'm pretending that you're asking me now) we both want to abolish the death penalty. talk about strange bedfellows!

great post, anthony. but i'd expect no less. :)

happychristmasmerryholidays. ;)

Kate Michele said...

I'm proud to say that though my tree is fake...My Boobies are 100% REAL..... Thank you very much.

Anthony said...

Kara: It might have been the Letterman show, when Bill was spouting some crap, and Dave just looked at him and said, "You know, about 65% of what you say is just crap."

hill: I'm giving these people credit for knowing how to work a TV.

kate: How big is your tree?

Kate Michele said...

Are you being sarcastic...or do you really want to know how big my 'tree' is? LOL

It's 6 foot. But if you are asking about my "tree" then I'm a 34DD.

Anthony said...

Katie: Me, sarcastic? Are you new? :)

Nice tree.

Kate Michele said...

[[bats lashes]] Gee thanks....

Sparky Duck said...

Oh this post sways into Olbermann land, except with cursing, well done.

Let the church have Easter and let me have my commercialized Christmas

Anthony said...

sparky: "Olbermann Land". I consider that high praise, indeed.

supergirlest said...

that clip you sent me of him on letterman was AWESOME! he gets so visibly agitated, it cracks me up.

i think i remember what i was watching now - it was jon stewart interviewing him after his most recent book came out - maybe the one he wrote for kids? (puke)

i've been searching youtube for the clip, but can't find anything.

stewart was basically asking about how active he would be after he retires and leaves his show. his response gave me the big a-ha! moment. i wish i could find it for you. he totally doesn't care about anything more than making money off his book sales. if i remember right, he basically said that he would just disappear and not think about it all anymore. now there's some dedication for ya...