Saturday, September 30, 2006

For the Girls

Another of the ancillary effects of the Thursday Thirteen (am I dwelling?) are the responses I got to my rather quirky list of quirks. Although I wasn't surprised to find many comparisons to a certain Mr. Monk, I was interested in the response to one particular quirk.

The peeing in public.

Since almost all of the TT participants were women, allow me to educate my readership on the issues involved with men peeing both standing and in the company of other men. For me, it is the company that is the issue, as I have been peeing standing for almost five decades. As my female bloggers may not know, there are significant issues involved in peeing in the company of men. So much so, that it even as a medical term attatched to it.

Paruresis
...also known as pee shy, shy kidney, bashful bladder or shy bladder syndrome is a type of social anxiety disorder, that can affect both men and women, in which the sufferer is unable to urinate in the (real or imaginary) presence of others, such as in a public restroom.

How odd, I thought, since P-Shy was going to be my rapper name, but I digress...

The shy bladder comes in real (not) handy during concerts and other such events where large amounts of alcohol are consumed. In those cases, the public rest room is the only choice, and packed full of drunks as it is, it is difficult if not impossible to find a suitable condition to relieve oneself. So, in such instances, one prefers to watch the Dave Matthews Band while doing the pee-pee dance, while others think I am merely enjoying the music.

Those of us afflicted have found our own methods of avoidance, but among those listed in "official" web sites, I found this one particularly disturbing:
Treatment by reducing the level of privacy at which the condition triggers by indulging in graduated exposure therapy. This last can be achieved by sufferers working together at organized events known as
workshops.

Workshops? Where I come from, those "workshops" are called Circle Jerks, and forgive me if I beg off, but it isn't part of my therapy to pee in an organization of like-minded sufferers, no matter what you call it. I'll suffer. Leave the pee groups to the weirdos, thank you.

Of course, as it is with any worthwhile affliction, there is an international group and an accompanying web site, listed here. There is even a store, with such things as "Do Public Bathrooms Make You Nervous" magnets and brochures, so you can broach the subject with your boyfriend/husband/partner with the aid of a distracting device.


The point is, (is there one?) that the next time you (the girls) are out with a guy on either the first date or the next of several, and he expresses some odd behavior when the subject of the rest room comes up, do not despair, it's not you - it's him.


You will have a difficult time getting him to discuss his affliction, since it isn't supposed to be manly to talk about it. Although, if you're asking me (and who is?) I think it is particularly manly to not want to pee in a group of men standing against a wall holding their little men in their fingers. If they elect the stall, it may be seen as "girly", and God forbid they ar
e seen as girly.

So, you see girls, men have issues too.

6 comments:

supergirlest said...

dude! no worries! get this - i used to run the water in public restrooms when i was younger so that no one else would hear me pee. why? who knows?! only the lord. kidding.

on a funny side note, during our walk the other day with bebe, i asked will what i should do when bebe is potty learned and needs to use the public restroom. do i take him into the men's room? do i take him into the women's room? i said that i didn't care to see other stranger penis. will laughed and said, "better take him to the ladies room - they'll want to show you their penises in the men's."
:) lol!

did i share too much?

supergirlest said...

oh, yeah. sorry i called you dude. :)

kimmyk said...

see but there's a bonus for guys-when in public you can pee in the sink if ya HAD to. Girls can't climb on a sink. Although, in my younger day I've been known to pop a squat on a sink a time or two in the company of just my friends. But as a rule? No.

I don't think I've ever been too shy to pee in public-but I can't pee in the woods. That's where you get a check mark because guys can take a wizz any damn where they please. And AND! You can shake it off. Ever see a girl try to shake it off? It ain't pretty. Drip drying is ugly.

So if you really wanna feel MY pain Anthony-strap a bra on and let it dig into your shoulders for about 10-12 hours. Then you'll know my pain my friend.

Don't you guys talk to each other in the bathrooms? Leave a girl in the john for 10 minutes she'll come out with a new best friend.

Pam said...

Oh anthony...this reminds me of some websites that aim (pun intended) to teach women to pee standing up....there is also a "device" that can be purchased and used to "guide" the pee into the toilet. Given my toilet seat/germ phobia, I have seriously considered purchasing one.

maybe I'll hafta do a blog post on it soon ;-).

Kate Michele said...

Kimmy....LMAO!!!

Anthony: "Circle Jerks"...LOL....I've never heard that term before and it cracked me up!! So do these support groups have like a 12 step program??

So when you are out in public do you drink less to help in avoiding the restroom?? Maybe there's like a Viagra for shy bladder....

Anthony said...

kimmyk: Peeing in sinks is legendary at Eagles games at old Veterans Stadium. It doesn't happen anymore at the new place.

Pam: I remember hearing a talk show with a woman who was promoting something called the "Stand 'N' Pee" for women to be able to pee without a toilet. They devoted a whole hour to it.

Kate: I can't imagine what the 12 steps would be. No, I don't drink less, I just wait for the inevitable and try to find a stall.