Friday, June 29, 2007

The latest in a never-ending supply of ways to separate you from your money

The iPhone. Apple's answer to distracted driving and annoying people in movie theaters, concerts, at work or your local church. The more laws and rules they make, the more junk we have to inspire more laws and rules. It's technology's little joke on us. Keep chasing the technology and the technology will keep chasing you. Soon, we'll see another bunch of laws.
If you thought you were annoyed by regular cell phones ... wait for this thing. Music, video, the Internet and ... oh yeah ... it's a phone, too. Gangs of gullible consumers lined up for this thing today. Among them was Philadelphia Mayor John Street, but don't go by him. He's kind of goofy to begin with. He probably thought he was in line for a cheesesteak. He called it a "management tool" and said that he will use it "to get a lot of work done." More work than he got done today, apparently, although he still got paid. He was in line for most of the day - which probably translated into more work than he does on a normal day in City Hall. I know who the tool is, John. Don't you have someone you can send to the store to get this for you? On second thought, maybe the city is better off with you out shopping instead of doing mayor stuff. Just don't expense it.
Meanwhile, the nonsense was the lead story on the news tonight, which translates into free advertising for Apple. Hords of dopey customers that set up lawn chairs at 3am waiting for the store to open. As of 10pm, the store was still open and there were plenty of the nuisance devices left, so what was the point of waiting in line?
At least one of the customers at the Marlton store appeared to have a problem opening the thing, which makes me wonder if it's more of a status symbol than an actual working device. I didn't hear the reporter ask anyone exactly what they expected to do with this thing, other than look at it and get a little erection. It seems to me that it's one of those products that we are told we need, so we run out and buy it. Apple's marketing people are smarter than their customers, and buyers remorse awaits, just after they get their credit card bill.
It doesn't hold as much music as an iPod, there are issues with AT&T's service and the network that they use is something called EDGE which is slower than 3G and a little faster than dial-up, so expect to hear a gang of complaints once the adrenalin wears off....
...and the bill comes. Somewhere in the vicinity of $200 a month, on top of the $500 they laid out for the "phone". Disposable income must be a by-product of stupidity, since I figure that many of the sheep were there so that they can wave the thing in front of their friends, who will "Oooh" and "Awww" publicly, while privately wondering "what were you thinking?"
A lot of them aren't, which is Apple's target customer. Just keep the damned thing quiet and when you wave it in my face, expect an eye-roll and some questions about your pricing plan.

2 comments:

Sparky Duck said...

I watched hours of CNBC yesterday, for other tidbits of information, and it was like an Iphone overload. I was waiting for Maria whatever her name is to use the phone in a bikini.

Kate Michele said...

I will say here what my dad's dad use to tell him [i never had the pleasure of meeting him, he died far to young].... He said, "The thing with money is that when ever you get a little, there's thousands of SOB's out there lining up to take it."

WORD.