My Sick Mind

It's Day 4 of the 14 days of Super Bowl. Did you know there are two black head coaches in the game? It sounds like a song, but it's more like a tiny little torture device cooked up by people who know a lot about torture - Televsion executives. Two weeks gives them enough time to examine and re-examine every silly little detail of all the Super Bowl participants and their kids. It's ridiculous to the point that Campbell's soup spokesman Donovan McNabb will be holding a press conference, presumably to talk about soup. One of the ancillary effects of America's greatest secular holiday is that it spurs sales of wide-screen high-definition televisions. Apparently, people want to see Prince in high definition. As for me, I'd prefer to see him with the sound off, being blind-sided by Tank Johnson - but I digress. It seems that those high-definition TVs are pretty good for sports, but lousy for porn. That's right, I said porn. A story in our local paper today clue...

Comics . Everybody loves the comics. Light, funny and something to take your mind off the stress of the everyday world ... or a cheap excuse for a post when my mind is a blank? You decide. OK, so as I write this, the Shrub is in Washington working on his pronounciation for his big speech. "Nuc ... Neuc ... Nuck... Newcl ..." Atomic. Fucking vowels. He's ready to inform us as to the State of the Union. As if we didn't already know. Another year of this nitwit, then we're done. The speech should be on the Cartoon Network. So ... who's next? That seems to be the "popular" opinion, although I'm not so sure she would be the wrong choice. She lived in the White House for 8 years, so you can't argue the "no experience" deal. She's bright, well-spoken and out of the rest of the field, she's clearly the standout. However, having said all that, I don't think the country is ready for (a) Bill's wife in the White House or (...

Switzerland's Martina Hingis in action during her fourth round win over China's Li Na at the Australian Open tennis tournament in Melbourne, Monday, Jan. 22, 2007. Hingis won in three sets 4-6 6-3 6-0. I could enjoy women's tennis a lot more if it weren't for all the grunting and screaming. I thought Maria Sharapova was giving birth on the court until I looked and saw that all she was doing was hitting a tennis ball. Geez . I wish I could find it, but I remember reading a magazine article that said it was a bad idea to yell and scream while lifting weights. Something about the pressure it puts on some delicate body parts...I forget exactly. Tennis coaches must be teaching it at an early age, because it's pervasive and unbearable. If the golfers start with it, I won't have any peace. OK, so it's a week and six days from America's greatest secular holiday (a.k.a. Super Bowl Sunday), and already I'm up to here (pointing at my throat) with t...

I don’t smoke, and I don’t hang around with people who do, but I have to imagine that it’s difficult to be a smoker. Not just the breathing part, which has to be difficult, too, but the social part as well. There is a stigma attached to smoking, and it gets worse every day. It’s a strange thing, the smoking. No nutritional value, no physical benefits of any kind to themselves or the people around them and no societal use – yet it continues. Last summer, our legislators in New Jersey finally got around to passing anti-smoking laws, which ban smoking in public, except on casino floors, where, as we know, smoke isn’t harmful. Slowly, other places are joining us. Last week, a milestone was reached when more than half the states had passed similar laws . In parts of Ohio, you can't even smoke outdoors . Come out smokers, we’ve got you surrounded ! It’s cold here in the Garden State. Cold enough that the smokers have to put on their winter gear. Most of them are bitter about having to go...

When the Deathmobile is heading toward the parade grandstand at the end of Animal House, Dean Vernon Wormer stares blankly into the screen, and to no one in particular, quietly proclaims, "I hate those guys." That's the same way I feel about the people running American Idol . In the end, they're going to win, because money goes to people who appeal to the masses. But I don't have to like it (and I don't) and neither do I have to approve of their methods for attracting audience or running what they refer to as "entertainment". Here's what the people running the show had to say about the ramifications of what I posted on Friday : PASADENA, Calif. - The Fox television network chief on Saturday dismissed talk of unusual cruelty by the judges on "American Idol" this year, saying he's heard from people who think the show has been toned down. "I think it's part of what makes "American Idol" "American Idol,...

Outside, the wind sounds like Superman taking off in the old TV show . Whistling and howling. 25 miles per hour, with gusts to 40. At least I'm not in Texas . I spent some time on the Internet , over at Ticketbastard , and picked up a ticket to see Blue Man Group , coming to the Taj Mahal (no, not that one) in Atlantic City in March . More fun awaits. Then, speaking of fun, I switched on the TV , and there's C-Span , my favorite reality show channel. There was a live feed from Wichita, Kansas and former Miss America 2001 Angela Perez Baraquio of Hawaii was introducing Sam Brownback , as he formally declared his run for the 2008 presidency . I'm not sure what Miss Hawaii has to do with a Senator from Kansas . Maybe Tara Dawn Holland is either a Democrat or too smart to get involved, but I'm not sure why he's running to begin with, so I'm at a loss. I decided to watch Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe . If I'm gonna feel dirty watching something on TV, it may...

Overheard at the Wawa earlier this evening, while waiting for my sandwich: A kid was ordering a sandwich for her too-hip-to-order-it-himself boyfriend (complete with knit skull cap and pants around his hips), when she stopped in mid-order to ask him if regular pickles were OK, because they didn't have "summer pickles". Why did she think they would have summer pickles in January? I can't imagine being so picky about pickles that it would matter, but the kid seemed to be pondering the question, when the sandwich artist behind the counter told her that "the pickles are all the same". Whew! A narrow escape. --------------------------------------------------------------------- I'm getting a lot of Google searches from my Michelle Manhart post the other day, along with the usual Britney Spears up-skirt no-panties and our old pal Cecily Tynan. I also got a page hit from a search for "2006 salary and compensation for Zoe Cruz". Looks like somebody...

Woodlyn, Pennslyvania - A Delaware County family narrowly avoided injury after a chunk of ice came crashing through their home Wednesday evening. The incident happened shortly after 8:00 p.m. in the 1300 block of Donna Drive in Woodlyn, PA. Ed and Penny Myers said they were getting their 4-year-old daughter ready for bed when the icy object tore a 3-foot hole through the roof. "There was this explosion in the room. At first I thought it was the TV shattering and glass, then I looked up and saw the hole in the ceiling and I was afraid the whole ceiling was going to collapse," said Penny. Wow, this global warming business is really getting out of hand. As if it wasn't bad enough that the Arctic Circle was melting, now we have to keep your eyes on the skies, too. Holy shit, Hannah. Chunks of iceberg are flying around. Watch the kids.