Thursday, July 5, 2007

A Quiz from Quiznos

I may have already won some money. Quiznos will probably be pulling my name from their sandwich-shaped hat and sending me the thousand-dollar weekly prize for filling out their on-line customer survey today. Either that or they were merely using me for information. I should know by the end of the week. I promise that the money will go to my head and I will change completely based on the sudden influx of riches.
I do enjoy a good survey, but I don’t want to spend too much time with it. This one took less time than it takes to make a sandwich, so I persevered. I had to choose between answers of “Strongly Agree”, “Agree,” “Neither Agree nor Disagree,” “Disagree” and “Strongly Disagree.” I had trouble determining whether I could strongly agree with anything that had to do with buying a sandwich for lunch. “Was your sandwich the right temperature?” they asked. I strongly agree. It was “room.”

They asked if I liked being able to watch my sandwich being made. Did I have a choice? No, I didn’t go running from the shop at the sight of bread being sliced, although I thought I heard a muffled scream. I neither agree nor disagree. That should confuse them.

MARKETING GUY: I don’t know, he said he doesn’t agree or disagree to having a sandwich made in front of him.
QUIZNOS CEO: OK, then we’ll keep making them in front of people, but let me know the minute somebody strongly disagrees.
MARKETING GUY: So, who gets the thousand dollars this week?
QUIZNOS CEO: My nephew's birthday is Saturday.

I’m not a big fan of the opinion surveys that allow you to say “no opinion.” That isn’t an opinion survey. Yes or no is an opinion. Q: Do you approve of the job the president is doing? A: Yes, no or no opinion. Don’t you have to have an opinion on that? I have an opinion on everything, which makes blogging kind of easy for me. Q: Can you write 400 words about a sandwich survey? A: I strongly agree.
I’m tempted to lie on those things, but I’m such an honest jerk that I always tell them my correct age, even though the range is wide. Age 35 to 50? I strongly agree. I should have told them I was a single, 85-year old female who earns over $200,000 a year. That’s a narrow demographic. However, I figure the jig would be up once they called me with the $1000 prize and a man answered. I never get away with stuff like that.
Of course, I never win the prize, either.

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