Manny being Manny

LOS ANGELES – The illegal substance for which Los Angeles Dodgers slugger Manny Ramirez tested positive and was banned 50 games was prescribed to address erectile dysfunction, not “an agent customarily used for performance enhancing” a source close Ramirez said Thursday. However, two sources said the substance Ramirez tested positive for was a gonadotropin. Major League Baseball’s list of banned substances includes the gonadotropins LH and HCG, which are most commonly used by women as fertility drugs. They also can be used to trigger testosterone production. Testosterone is depleted by steroid use, and low testosterone can cause erectile dysfunction.
“Testosterone and similar drugs are effective for erectile dysfunction in that they jazz up your sex drive,” said Charles Yesalis, a professor at Penn State University who has testified before Congress on issues of performance-enhancing drugs.

“But far more clinicians accept that affect with Viagra and Cialis. It’s hard for me to understand if it was erectile dysfunction why they would use it.” Another physician with experience in international drug-testing said LH and HCG are occasionally prescribed for men “whose testicles have basically stopped functioning.”

I'm not surprised by these stories anymore. The thing that does surprise me is that players like Josh Hamilton who have battled drug abuse and come back are looked upon as heroes, but players like Mark McGwire, Rafael Palmiero and Alex Rodriguez who are accused of using steroids have become pariahs. It's hard to logically separate the two. Both drugs are illegal and banned by baseball's standards, yet one group is treated as having overcome an obstacle and the other group is banned from the game. What makes steroids more horrible than cocaine?

I suppose, over the next month and a half that Manny's testicles will resume their normal function and we can look forward to little Manny's running around once he gets his sex drive back.

We can thank your God for those small miracles.

Meanwhile, all baseball fans want is to see balls flying over their heads (make up your own jokes) and steroids and other so-called "Performance enhancing drugs" make that both possible and likely. We punish those who would seek to fulfill those wishes and have gone to great extremes to make baseball fans happy and give ESPN junk to show on TV.

I'm a little fuzzy on the definition of "performance enhancing drugs," however. If a guy's arm is sore and he takes Motrin to relieve the pain so he can play, has the drug enhanced his performance? Sure it has, and I'm also sure that Motrin isn't on the list of banned substances. How about if he's a little hungover and sleepy from being out the night before and takes a few caffeine tablets to keep him awake during those boring games? Has his performance been enhanced? You bet. Coffee isn't on the list either.

You can argue the legality of anabolic steroids until your face is as blue as Manny's balls, but you know damned well that your doctor will write you a note to excuse you from your mundane job because your shoulder hurts just as sure as he'll write a prescription for steroids for a professional athlete. What's the difference? The difference is that baseball players have random drug testing and you don't.

The whole ordeal is tiring and I'm just as likely to let them take drugs until their testicles shrink and they die sooner. For the money they're paid, I say let them do what they want. If a doctor prescribes it, prosecute the doctor. Physicians skate while the players pay.

They use the excuse that "I didn't know what I was taking." Bull. I know everything I put in my body regardless of whether it's 9-percent beer or a multi-vitamin, and I won't earn in my lifetime what these schmucks earn in a year. They know exactly what they're doing. If they don't, they're dumber than I think they are, and that's pretty dumb.

Baseball without Manny Ramirez for 50 games is worse than baseball with him. That's the bottom line, and I think this witch hunt is as big a sham as has been perpetrated on the American public since outlet shopping.