Sunday in April and as hot as Hell.

We're supposed to believe in Global Warming and I guess I do, although my frame of reference is limited to the 51 years I've spent here. I can tell you two things: (1) We don't get as much snow as we used to and (2) I used to ice skate on a nearby lake and now, the lake doesn't get frozen enough to support my cat on ice skates, which would be quite a sight.

Occasionally, we hear about ice breaking off some northern outpost, and they tell us that it's as big as Texas or something, and we think, "Jeebus, as big as Texas?" Holy crap - an entire redneck state is headed this way. The only thing we don't know is how long ice has been breaking off. Maybe it's been breaking off for decades and only now we're hearing about it? Or maybe the planet really is warming, I don't know. Either way, I think it's a good idea to take care of the place.

That, plus the fact that it's April 26 and we're in the second day of a three-day wave of 90-plus temperatures in New Jersey. That ain't right, Global Warming notwithstanding.

Philadelphia Inquirer auto reviewer Al Haas wrote a review of the 2009 Aston Martin in today's paper. It's a $270,400 car that he called "excellent" and said, "it's the most stunning marriage of performance and luxury I've driven." Ya think? The fucking thing costs more than fifteen hundred blow jobs. I'd hope, if I bought one, I'd at least get one.

I watched enough of the NFL draft yesterday to see who the Eagles picked. That was enough, really. People like Mel Kiper are amazing to me. He's like a TV weatherman. He can be completely wrong (often) and yet explain why the team making the pick is making an odd choice, and then tell you why they should have done something else and how surprising it was. That's the same thing the TV weather people do when we get 6 inches of snow instead of the day of rain they told us.

They're similar jobs: Draft analyst and weatherman. Nobody seems to check their accuracy, they can say just about anything and we buy into it and there is no accountability. Is Kiper good or just popular?

The other amazing thing is how they can have an opinion on a sixth round draft pick, as though they're experts on the guy. I guess they realize that the bulk of their audience is clueless and will believe anything they are told. That's how the weather people behave, also.

The plastic phone book bag is gone, but in its place is another odd structure - the dead Easter plant on top of a cardboard box. Click on the photo and you'll see that it was once a box of "Individual chicken pot pies." That's right, folks. Another slice of condo living for ya. This little duo has been sitting outside my door for the past 3 days, and I suppose until the plant completely dries up and blows away, here it will stay. You thought my life was easy.

It was ungodly hot this weekend, and I'm guessing that Mister Easterplant received zero water, so the death process is a slow and agonizing one. Luckily, plants don't feel pain - only neighbors do.

One question: How long do I allow this disintegrating flower to suffer before it finds its way to the nearby dumpster?

Another question: Could it be that my neighbor is leaving it there out of spite over the previous box issue?

Question three: Does anyone want to make an offer for the place next door?

I spend some of my free time aimlessly wandering around the Internet. It's good for aimless wandering. One of the things I was looking at was the Kindle. What's a Kindle, you ask? A Kindle is a wireless reading device marketed by Amazon that allows you to download and read books, newspapers and magazines. There are, of course, pros and cons:

Pros - It's connected to a 3G wireless network that Amazon pays for, so there are no monthly connection fees. It's slim and light and easy to carry around. Newspaper and magazine subscriptions are available for a reasonable price.

Cons - It's $359. I'd have to force myself to start reading books, which would be the idea of having one. Mostly, I'm a gadget nut and I don't know if this is another Ralph Kramden "Crazy, hairbrained scheme."

Does anyone have one or know someone who does? It's almost impossible to evaluate these types of things over the Internet, which is part of the reason Amazon is having trouble selling them.