Sunday, February 10, 2008

Relax, have a sandwich. Everything will be fine.

Subway is running ads now, telling us that it's 12 years since Jared went on that sandwich diet and lost 245 pounds. All of their celebrity pitchmen (and women) are seen congratulating him on losing the weight and keeping it off. Good for you, buddy! Don't lose that big endoresement deal, fat ass! It's amazing to me that this kid parlayed a Subway menu into a career. I'm assuming that representing Subway is his only job.
It's one of those minor scams - you know the kind - the ones that are good on their surface, but in you heart (and mind) you know it's bullshit. I could probably lose a hundred pounds eating ice cream, if I only ate 16 ounces a day, drank water and bicycled 50 miles, and nothing else. By the way, on their web site, Subway officially turns their back on Jared and his methods, in fine print:
* Individuals lost weight by exercising and eating a balanced, reduced-calorie diet that included SUBWAY® sandwiches with 6 grams of fat or less. Their results are not typical. Your loss if any will vary. SUBWAY® Restaurants does not endorse the diet Jared created and cautions anyone embarking on a weight-loss plan to consult their physician.
We don't endose it - really - but we'll run a 12 year long ad campaign that makes you think that's how the guy dropped all that weight. "Your loss, if any, will vary. " No kidding. What a country.
For the record, they make great sandwiches, but for my money (which is the only money that matters) Quiznos is the best.
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I'm getting nervous. The dark blue states are starting to creep up on the light blue ones. Being distrustful of politics in general, I'm skeptcial that the best thing will be done for the people once this process is over. Our votes are supposed to count, but in the end, I fear it will be like the general election. Our votes will be "respected" but in the end, the party will have the final say. That Clinton name carries a lot of weight.

Check out how much money is being raised by these campaigns. Even the losing ones. Hillary just came up with another $10 million since Tuesday, and she "loaned" her campaign $5 million. Loaned it, as opposed to "spent" it. It makes one wonder, if it isn't important enough to her to actually spend the money herself, why is she in this? Of course, I'm not sure I'd have a whole lot of respect for somebody who spent $5 million of their own money to get a job that pays $250,000 a year, but what do I know?

"Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely."
An observation that a person’s sense of morality lessens as his or her power increases. The statement was made by Lord Acton, a British historian of the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries.

2 comments:

kimmyk said...

I love Subway, but I have to have cheese on my sub [and I don't think Jared put the good stuff on his sub] and I need mayo too. I love Subway though. Never tried Quiznos, but we have 'em here.

Interesting map ya got there.

anna said...

Quiznos is better!! We don't have one in this small town hell though. Just a Subway that is dirty and gross and I'm too skeered to enter.

I love the fat ass remark!!! Hysterical. I'm coming North to your house so you can make me laugh.


:)