Gay Harmony

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - The popular online dating service eHarmony was sued on Thursday for refusing to offer its services to gays, lesbians and bisexuals. Lawyers bringing the action said they believed it was the first lawsuit of its kind against eHarmony, which has long rankled the gay community with its failure to offer a "men seeking men" or "women seeking women" option.

At first glance, one would think that eHarmony is missing out on a huge demographic. After all, it must be difficult for homosexuals to find each other. It's not like they wear a sign or anything. I'm not in on all that left-earring/right-earring jazz. I haven't requested a handbook. Otherwise, I suppose it is very difficult to approach someone who theoretically could punch you in the face if you "guessed" wrong about his sexual preference. That's where a neat-o web site would be really handy. Unless, of course you were the type of person who would discriminate...

eHarmony was founded in 2000 by evangelical Christian Dr. Neil Clark Warren and had strong early ties with the influential religious conservative group Focus on the Family. It has more than 12 million registered users, and heavy television advertising has made it one of the nation's biggest Internet dating sites. The company said the allegations of discrimination against gays were false and reckless.

False and reckless? To the right is the registration screen that pops up when you open the eHarmony web site. Do you see anything remotely homosexual there? Me neither, but I'm reckless.

Maybe if my postal code was 94106 there would be more options? I skipped right past the zip code and went for the "I'm a" choice.

All of which brings me around to my Friday night in the city, and oh, how I wish the eHarmony gang could have been there with me.

Part of the adventure of me hanging in the city alone has always been the inevitable crush of men. That's right, men. How so? Allow me to elucidate.

The train dropped me at my favorite watering hole, the Locust Rendezvous. Generally, I have a nice time there. Mostly because the bar is small enough that whomever decides to stop by automatically becomes my drinking buddy by the mere fact that the bar is so tiny, there is no other choice. Tonight, for some reason, I decided to skedaddle quickly, and headed over to another fav - McGillin's Pub, on Drury Street - a place so tiny that you would have to know it to find it. That's where the night really began.

After drinking my fill, and allowing for the walk to the Electric Factory, I asked for my check and beat a hasty retreat sometime around 6. Little did I know that I would be followed out the door by a well-intentioned man who would ask the 64 thousand dollar question. At some point near Broad Street, he tracked me down and asked politely, "Please don't ... but, would you mind if I asked if I could suck your dick?" That's right, folks. Life in the big city. As you would expect, I politely turned him away.

I'm not as offended by such things as some may expect. It isn't the first time it has happened to me, and I suspect it will not be the last. Two things creep into my head when they happen. (1) Why can't women be as forward as men? and (2) Hey ... I'm almost 50 and I still 'got it'.

In case you were wondering, the show was awesome, fellatio propositions notwithstanding. If Umphrey's McGee wanders into your town, find them. Although, something tells me that you are re-reading the last couple of paragraphs, so my review of the show may be inconsequential.

Strangely, those sexual propositions bounce off me. While some men would take a swing at the guy, I take it as a compliment. I fully understand the difficulties inherent in being homosexual and appreciate the guts it must take to follow a stranger out of a bar and proposition him [me]. Some small part of me (not the important part) felt kind of bad for the guy.