Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Asstronauts

I'm a child of the space age. My parents called my pacifier SPUTNIK, after the Soviet satellite that began orbiting the earth shortly before I was born. As a kid, I lived to watch the launches and generally idolized the astronauts, whom I believed (and still do) that they were the best and brightest of their time.

They're still called astronauts, even though the requirements for spaceflight are not as stringent as they were in the 1960s, when you pretty much had to be an aviator or pilot (Neil Armstrong was a civilian pilot) to even apply. Now, there are mission specialists that go up on the Shuttle, and it would seem that the astronauts of today are not as highly qualified as their predecessors.

That's why, when I see the word "astronaut" in the headline of a news story, I cringe a little, because I still have those childhood images of the astronauts who went to the moon. So, when I saw this story, I got that little creepy feeling:

ORLANDO, Fla. - An astronaut drove from Houston to Florida, donned a disguise and confronted a woman she believed was romantically involved with a space shuttle pilot she was in love with, police said. She was charged with attempted kidnapping and other counts. U.S. Navy Captain Lisa Nowak, 43, who flew last July on a shuttle mission to the international space station, was also charged with attempted vehicle burglary with battery, destruction of evidence and battery.

Police said Nowak drove from her home in Houston to the Orlando International Airport — wearing diapers so she wouldn't have to stop to urinate — to confront Colleen Shipman. Nowak believed Shipman was romantically involved with Navy Commander William Oefelein, a pilot during space shuttle Discovery's trip to the space station last December, police said.
An officer followed Nowak and watched her throw away a bag containing the wig and BB gun. They also found a steel mallet, a 4-inch folding knife, rubber tubing, $600 and garbage bags inside a bag Nowak was carrying when she was arrested, authorities said.
Inside Nowak's vehicle, which was parked at a nearby motel, authorities uncovered a pepper spray package, an unused BB-gun cartridge, latex gloves and e-mails between Shipman and Oefelein. They also found a letter "that indicated how much Mrs. Nowak loved Mr. Oefelein," an opened package for a buck knife, Shipman's home address and hand written directions to the address, the arrest affidavit said.

Somehow, I can't picture Alan Shepard or Gordon Cooper in a diaper - at least not in a car, but maybe I'm just not thinking hard enough. Generally, I'm guilty of thinking that so-called celebrities today and other such luminaries are not what they were "back in the day".

Even astronauts aren't astronauts anymore.
It makes me sad.

4 comments:

Pam said...

This is so sad. That woman is obviously very disturbed/mentally ill.

Astronauts wear diapers during take off and landing. So your idols definitely wore them. The things you learn when EVERY freaking school field trip is at the space and rocket center.

Anthony said...

All we had was the Franklin Institute Science Museum in Philly, and Jules Bergman.

... and, that's why I added the "in the car" part about the diapers.

Me said...

As if NASA didn't have enough PR problems. MyGod, this is utterly ridiculous.

Kami said...

I had no idea about the diapers, either. When I read that today, I was like, WTF? IN HER CAR? THE HELL? I have made that drive, and while scary, there are plenty of stops between here and Orlando, in Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, and Georgia.

What a mess she is. Poor thing. Lust will do that to you, I guess.