The producers of Wife Swap should get together with the producers of Baby Borrowers and produce one disgusting TV show. That would be the decent thing to do.
We need cordless vacuum cleaners. We have cordless telephones and cordless vibrators ... why not a cordless vacuum cleaner? I'm tired of running over the cord, and I'm running out of electrical tape.
If I paid for the cable TV channels that I watch, my bill would be about ten bucks a month. As it is, it's $60 and I don't go near seven-eighths of them.
NOTE TO AUTO MAKERS: Put the fuel fill door under the license plate like it was when I was a kid. That way, I could use any open gas pump, instead of having to wait for the one on the side where my fuel intake is.
I want a headphone jack in the arm rest at the movie theater so I don't have to listen to the stupid kids behind me narrating the story.
I need more horny, single women to approach me for sex.
Anyone buying more than three items in a store should have to pay for a bag.
Any t-shirt that contains the name of a product or company should be free to the consumer.
And stop telling me that something is "free" and charge me for shipping and handling. That isn't free.
If 90-proof alcohol is legal (which it is) and cigarettes are legal (which they are), then marijuana should be legal. There isn't anything in marijuana that isn't in high-end scotch or a pack of cigarettes. Either it's all illegal or none of it is.
Children and animals should not be used to sell products.
No single serving of a beverage served in a restaurant should cost more than a person would spend to buy six of them in a store.
There is absolutely no reason why an automobile sold in the United States should be able to travel at a speed faster than 75 miles per hour.