Thursday, July 10, 2008

The idea man.

The producers of Wife Swap should get together with the producers of Baby Borrowers and produce one disgusting TV show. That would be the decent thing to do.
We need cordless vacuum cleaners. We have cordless telephones and cordless vibrators ... why not a cordless vacuum cleaner? I'm tired of running over the cord, and I'm running out of electrical tape.
If I paid for the cable TV channels that I watch, my bill would be about ten bucks a month. As it is, it's $60 and I don't go near seven-eighths of them.
NOTE TO AUTO MAKERS: Put the fuel fill door under the license plate like it was when I was a kid. That way, I could use any open gas pump, instead of having to wait for the one on the side where my fuel intake is.
I want a headphone jack in the arm rest at the movie theater so I don't have to listen to the stupid kids behind me narrating the story.
I need more horny, single women to approach me for sex.
Anyone buying more than three items in a store should have to pay for a bag.
Any t-shirt that contains the name of a product or company should be free to the consumer.
And stop telling me that something is "free" and charge me for shipping and handling. That isn't free.
If 90-proof alcohol is legal (which it is) and cigarettes are legal (which they are), then marijuana should be legal. There isn't anything in marijuana that isn't in high-end scotch or a pack of cigarettes. Either it's all illegal or none of it is.
Children and animals should not be used to sell products.
No single serving of a beverage served in a restaurant should cost more than a person would spend to buy six of them in a store.
There is absolutely no reason why an automobile sold in the United States should be able to travel at a speed faster than 75 miles per hour.
Any questions?
Any answers?


kimmyk said...

the simple fact that vibrators are cordless makes me thankful i live in the US of A.

I am in total agreement with the headphones in the jack thingy but really, i dont want to put something in my ear that has been in someone elses. gaross.

as far as children selling-i'm sorry but i'd rather look at a lil kid in a diaper than a grown man. just my two cents. they have a better wiggle when they walk...(kids i mean)

that's all i got.

Handsome B. Wonderful said...

**taking a toke from a joint***

I'd vote for you man. Free the weed!!! If "God" created everything then isn't marijuana divine??? Maybe "God" wanted us to partake of it to help us deal with the hardships in life. Just a thought...

I agree with everything else that you said too. We should start some sort of "Reality Squad" and go around in an electric car pointing out the absurdities in life to people.

Then again I'm too lazy and paranoid to do that so I'll just keep blogging.

Rock on brother. I'll take a hit tonight for ya when I smoke up. ;)

Firestarter5 said...

The producers of Wife Swap and Baby Borrowers should jump off the nearest cliff.

I'd be more than willing to cover my car in product advertisements as long as they pay for my car, gas, insurance.

Marijuana is illegal because it makes most people happy. We can't have happy people. The gov't says so.

Anthony said...

Kimmyk: I figure most of us have our own headphones, so the ear wax deal isn't a problem.

HBW: If weed was legal, I'd never drink again. Thankfully, I don't have to wait outside a Denny's parking lot at 3am for a six-pack of Coors.

FS5: No government wants happy people. Happy people vote.

kimmyk said...

ive never smoked pot before.

y'all make it sound like i'm missing somethin.

oh. bring your own earbuds? cool. i can do that.