Blogging isn't rocket science

But then, rocket science isn't what it used to be, either. There must be some downtime at the space agency, and it's nice to know that they fill their idle hours over here at the blog. So I have that going for me. One of the rocket scientists was searching "Hillary Big Booty" and stumbled on this, which probably annoyed them to no end.

And how nice that the folks at the Pepsi Bottling Company stumbled on this post about my favorite chemically-altered water-flavored beverage. Better late than never.

Meanwhile, not one trick or treater tonight. It's not all that unusual, since I haven't had a trick or treater (are they called something else?) since I moved in here 17 years ago. When I was a kid (when dinosaurs roamed the earth) condos and apartment complexes were the Holy Grail for any kid begging for candy on Hallowe'en.

Now, it isn't "safe" to go to anyone's home that you don't know, so here I sit with my de rigueur black cat and refrigerator full of apples wondering where the kids are. I tried to get a razor blade in one of those apples, but those damned Gillette Fusion's just make a big mess. I guess I'll turn the lights back on and wipe this goofy make-up off. It's just as well, since I don't keep candy in the house. I was going to give out cans of Fancy Feast. Hey, it's real salmon. Eight bucks a pound.

It must be nice to have the world on a string. All you need is some fancy make-up, a wig and a push-up costume to get a major morning TV show (The Today Show) to ask a 58-year old woman to make all the boys skeleton's creep up their pants. Never mind that it probably takes two hours to get her to look like that, it's the fifteen minutes of TV time that matters.

Hey, I'm the last one to be picking on "The Mistress of the Dark" ... it's just that it's a pretty good example of the power of the media and the illusion they create that something as timeless as boobs in a black dress can be brought to morning television - out - as it were.

The funny thing is, that for 58, she looks pretty good without the black fright wig and the contrasty dress/boob combo.

Let's see ... she's been in Elvira's Box of Horrors, (whatever could that mean?) Playboy Presents Halloween Spooktacular, several calendars, TV specials, a horrible movie and she's hosting a [egad] "reality" show for Fox (who else?) in which they search for the next Elvira. I'm guessing she'll be younger (no kidding) and have even bigger boobs and a skimpier costume.

All of which proves that all you need is the flimsiest gimmick and you too can be a media mogul and self-made gazillionaire. It helps to work the sex angle, (especially if you can do it with stuff like Box in the title) but really, all you need is a gimmick. Nice going, Cassandra.

Now, for something really scary...

There's no box, just a dick. But it is horrible. Darth Cheney.