Flavor Fave

Do you want the benefits of water without giving up taste? Of course you do, and if you’re anything like me, (I pity the fool) you’ll want to try the latest fanciful beverage from Aquafina, (literally “the end of water”) called Flavor Splash. It is described as a Naturally Flavored Water Beverage.

Right away, I have a problem with something called a water beverage, but I will set that aside for now, in lieu of another minor concern. Namely, what exactly is in this stuff?

First, I wanted to see what the natural flavors were. The label says “Citrus Blend”, so I wanted to check to see which citrus fruits … oops … Contains 0% juice. OK. So, what are the natural flavors, I wondered quietly to myself? Check the CONTAINS part of the label – there they are, ingredient number 2 – “Natural Flavors”. Oh.

So this stuff must be good for me, right? After all, I’m getting all the benefits of water. As far as Flavor Splash is concerned, those ‘benefits’ include Sodium Hexametaphosphate, Sodium Citrate, Sucralose, Phosphoric Acid, Calcium Disodium and Sodium Benzoate – to preserve freshness, protect flavor and fight the never-ending battle for truth, justice and the American way. At least ‘filtered water’ is the first ingredient.

A check of the NUTRITION FACTS tells me that there are 2.5 servings per container. I drank the whole thing at once, so maybe I’m just a pig? Luckily, there are lots of zeroes, so you can multiply 2.5 times the zeroes to figure out the calories and carbs.

One of the zeroes is not sodium, and it seems like there’s a lot of sodium in those ingredients, although the label says “LOW SODIUM PER SERVING”. But, each serving contains 65mg of sodium (times 2.5) and all of a sudden we’ve consumed 162.5mg of sodium, or 9% of my recommended daily allowance. So maybe I should have had the point-five serving and put the rest aside until tomorrow, but if I did, then I wouldn’t be getting all the benefits of water. Why cheat myself out of benefits? (I wonder quietly to myself) But, how much sodium does real water have, like ... zero?

Hey … isn’t sodium supposed to make me thirsty? I need another bottle.