Monday, June 25, 2007

The end of civilization (as we know it)

Too busy to search the web? Google scientists have uncovered a way to shave yet another second off of your life and thereby create even more opportunities for you to do more searches in less time. Confused? Me too, a little.
I had no idea that I could save time by hitting the return key instead of clicking on "search". Thanks, Google, but is it really faster? I'm going to make you proud and use that extra time to make the world a better place.
Faster porn searches.

I get these almost every day. Someone, somewhere must figure that ebay users are the most gullible people on the planet. This one made me giggle, though - which is no small feat.

It says, "Although these emails appear to come from eBay, they are really sent by people attempting to gain access to your account." Really? Ya think? They go on to tell me that if I do not get satisfactory results from clicking on the link they provided, that I should reply directly to the e-mail. OK, sure thing. It's signed "Ebay trust and Security", so I know it can't be fake.

Are you smarter than a 2-year old?

I'll bet that a 2-year old Mensa baby wouldn't be taken in by such nonsense. A British kid, Georgia Brown (really) has just been named to Mensa, and if I had any respect for them to begin with, it just went out the window. You might think that it is ridiculous to put a 2-year old into Mensa [because it is]. According to their web site: Membership in Mensa is open to persons who have attained a score within the upper two percent of the general population on an approved intelligence test that has been properly administered and supervised. Did she take the test? It's probably hard to supervise an IQ test on a 2-year old, what with changing diapers and all. Of course, being a Mensan, she can probably wipe herself by now. But hey, welcome aboard, kiddo! From the sounds of their mission statement, she will fit right in.

Mensa seeks to identify and foster human intelligence for the benefit of humanity, according to its website. It also seeks to provide a stimulating intellectual and social environment for its members as well as to encourage research into the nature, characteristics and uses of intelligence.

Can anyone at Mensa tell me how a 2-year old can do all those things? How do you think all those brainiacs feel with a small child in their midst? A lot like Dian Fossey with the gorillas, I'm guessing. And what if she turns out to be a dumbass? I've seen a lot of precocious kids in my life, and not all of them turned out to be geniuses or necessarily the smartest kids on the block. It seems to me to be pointless, and obviously done for the benefit of her parents, who probably feel as though they need to have something to rub in the faces of their neighbors at the next community picnic.

What I'm suggesting is that it might be nice if the kid joined Mensa because she wanted to. God forbid we do something for the kid. I hope she turns out to be a real pain in the ass and decides to write a tell-all book about the behind the scenes goings-on at Mensa meetings.

I'd be willing to bet that Georgia isn't the only Mensa member who wets the bed, either.

4 comments:

howard said...

I heard a piece on NPR about a guy who wrote a book about spammers in general (though he tended to focus on Nigerian money scams). He had found more people were taken in by these scams than you'd think. I know it was more than I'd like to think.

But you have to figure, with so many of these spams floating around, there have to be a few suckers making it worth the spammers' time and effort, right?

kimmyk said...

Are you serious about the return key and that you didn't know that? You're kidding right? Dude I even knew that and I'm a 'tard.

We get that spam crap from eBay all the time. The doctor I work for was taken for 5 grand last year. He bought a car off eBay and sent the money via Western Union and not Paypal. Of course they promised to ship the vehicle once payment was received. Uh huh. The address came back to an empty warehouse next to LAX. Zing. It's still a sore subject in our office.

Anthony said...

howard: It's like the kid selling lemonade for $100 a glass. When asked why, he said, "I only have to sell one." Methinks that the spammers only need one - but get far more.

Kimmyk: I probably stumbled on the return key deal, but I wondered why Google scientists handed it out as a time saver. Has it come to that?

Sparky Duck said...

sweet sweet Georgia Brown. Ok, I have nothing else.