One Small Step for Man

WEST HOLLYWOOD, California - City leaders adopted a resolution Monday night calling on sheriff's deputies not to target certain adult marijuana users. The City Council backed the nonbinding resolution 4-0, said city spokeswoman Tamara White. The resolution directs the Los Angeles Sheriff's Department, which contracts with this left-leaning city, not to "target adult marijuana users who consume this drug in private and pose no danger to the community."
Minors and drug dealers would still be subject to arrest, and smoking in public would still be prohibited, the resolution says. The resolution is not legally enforceable, but sends a message that law enforcement officers should "leave the pot smokers alone" and go after more serious crimes, said Councilman John Duran, the resolution's sponsor.

How revolutionary -- that people who do things in the privacy of their homes should not be the target of persecution because they pose no danger to the community. The next thing you know, we'll be able to drink and smoke cigarettes at home...

Food for Thought

Here are some interesting facts to take with you to the water cooler, or just hang around the house with, if you don't happen to have a water cooler at home.

Most popular name for girls in 2006: Wynonna.

Most popular name for boys: Wilhelm.

"99 Bottles of Beer" was Benjamin Franklin's choice for the National Anthem of the United States.

Terry cloth was invented by former Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Terry Bradshaw.

1 out of 5 Americans make up 20% of the population.

Unleaded gasoline contains trace amounts of gold and platinum.

Doing the 'Hokey Pokey' is illegal in 17 states.

There is no Chinese word for 'smooch'.

Dogs cannot hear women screaming at them.

"Thousand-legger" insects actually have 998 legs.

Half of the money you pay for car insurance goes to Donald Trump.

The moon landings were not filmed in Hollywood, but the World Cup soccer matches are.

Geneologists say that by the year 2075, humans will be born with a cell tower in their head.

Still waters do not necessarily run deep.

The Smokey and the Bandit films were based on unpublished works by William Shakespeare.

The 'Employees Must Wash Hands Before Leaving Restroom' policy is federal law.

David Blaine is a figment of your imagination.

The silhouette on the Major League baseball logo is Kevin Costner.

George W. Bush is a competent leader and his admistration will be looked at by historians as a symbol of democracy, having led the country into prosperity by his great legacy of personal sacrifice and inspired dedication to the preservation of the ideals of the country set forth by our founding fathers over 200 years ago, free of corruption and scandal, and motivated by the best interests of his constituents for whom he tirelessly works while guided by the quest for equality for all Americans regardless of party affiliation, wealth or place of birth.

Small Miracles

Supreme Court Affirms Wetlands Restrictions

Narrowly, but a narrow victory is better than losing....or is it?

WASHINGTON - The Supreme Court ruled Monday that the government can block development on hundreds of millions of acres of wetlands, even on land miles away from waterways, as long as regulators prove a connection to the waterways. Stevens said Scalia's opinion "needlessly jeopardizes the quality of our waters." He laid out a history of the 1972 Clean Water Act and said "the importance of wetlands for water quality is hard to overstate."

Yes, it is hard to overstate, and much like the global warming issue, I would ask, "What is the downside?"

Virtually any land in America would be covered under the government's interpretation of the law, Roberts and the court's other three conservatives complained in an opinion. The court's four liberal members said the conservatives would have opened up sensitive wetlands to polluters.

Complained? They complained? Please tell me that is a legal term. Damn, you liberals! Don't you know that the polluters are the future of our country?

Roberts said the result was confusing and that "lower courts and regulated entities will now have to feel their way on a case-by-case basis."

Is that supposed to make me feel better? Now, the issue is open to local graft and corruption, when we could have had our Supreme Court close the door on the issue forever. Once again, bureaucracy has failed us.

I am not amused. But, Disney World was built on wetlands, right? So, how can that be bad?

Oh well, those justices will all be dead soon, so why should they care?

Over a Barrel

Oil and Gas Company Executives Defend High Pump Prices As Essential to Maintaining Supplies

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Americans paying $3 per gallon at the pump have it relatively cheap when compared with prices globally, say oil and gas company executives who defend their record profits as essential to maintaining supplies. In parts of Europe and elsewhere in the West, gasoline prices are more like $5 per gallon to $7 per gallon, said the chairman of ConocoPhillips Co., James J. Mulva. Mulva and two other executives who appeared on NBC's "Meet the Press" said they are optimistic about keeping a lid on domestic prices, unless their fears come true about the potential for damage to U.S. energy production from the hurricane season that began June 1. "I do understand why consumers are concerned. The thing that concerns all of us, I think, is that we're heading into hurricane season again," said the chairman of Chevron Corp., David J. O'Reilly.

Excuse me ... uh ... Mulva - are you the dad of Jerry's girlfriend whose name he couldn't remember? What a coincidence that I also commonly refer to the big oil companies by the names of female body parts.

Nothing galls me more than that tired old argument that tells us we are "lucky" to be where we are, and not somewhere else. It's irrelevant, because we are not in Europe, we are in the United States. Historically, prices in Europe have been higher, so the argument doesn't hold water - or oil.

As we know by now, consumers don't stand a chance against big business, whether it's oil or anything else. And yes, we are concerned about hurricane seaon - but isn't there a hurricane season every year? Why is it only the past couple of years that we have been concerned about it? I'm guessing that the 'Meet the Press' host didn't follow up that comment with a question.

They do understand that we are concerned, but there is a big difference between understanding and caring, and we know they don't care. The lid's off the hurricane season, folks, so keep driving those giant house-sized land cruisers and get ready to dig deep for another gallon. Here's an idea: Let's petition the National Weather Service to change the way they name hurricanes. Since we are supposed to be 'concerned', why not use appropriate names for storms that will affect people outside of the storm track? Here's my partial list. Feel free to add your own.

A - Anadarko

B - British Petroleum

C - Chevron

D - Dick Cheney

E - Exxon

F - just put your favorite "F" word in front of an oil company name

G - Gulf (although you could substitute "George W. Bush")

H - Halliburton

...well, you get it. And soon, we're all going to get it.

Cupped Up!

I think I need to get more involved in this World Cup thing ...






They're playing soccer, right?
I think I'm rooting for Argentina.

Those Whacky Animals!

ANCHORAGE, Alaska - Scientists are mystified at the carcass of a young beluga whale found in a river in central Alaska, nearly 1,000 miles from its natural ocean habitat. The first guess is the 8-foot-long whale, which often feed on fish in estuaries and the mouths of rivers, swam away from the ocean in search of food. "What are the alternatives?" asked Link Olson, curator of the University of Alaska Museum of the North.

Mystified? One alternative is that the whale is a dumb ass. Have you ever seen a homeless person wandering the streets in search of food? Of course you have. Why is it so hard to believe that a whale could be demented enough to not understand where he is? C'mon Link, think outside the box.

Meanwhile ... cats are going nuts...

Jack, a 15-pound orange-and-white cat, cat sits under a treed black bear in a backyard in West Milford, N.J., Sunday, June 4, 2006. When the bear climbed down, the cat chased it up another nearby tree. Neighbor Suzanne Giovanetti thought Jack was simply looking up at the bear, but soon realized the much larger animal was afraid of the hissing cat. The cat's owners called it away and the bear ran off. (AP Photo/Suzanne Giovanetti).

Now that Jack the Cat is finished with his bear chasing duties, I have another job for him. Find this grey-haired jackass and chase him up a tree...

I don't know what's going on here, but it sure is an interesting photo...Actresses Rosa Blasi (L) and Lisa Ann Walter sing and dance as they perform 'Dance 10, Looks 4' at the 'What A Pair! 4' celebration of duets in Los Angeles June 11, 2006. The event features songs from Broadway sung by women in a benefit for breast cancer research at the John Wayne Cancer Institute. REUTERS/Fred Prouser (UNITED STATES).

Governing Without a Helmet

As most of you know, Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger survived his brush with a windshield after crashing his motorcycle into an oncoming vehicle. As is natural in these situations, we seek to blame someone other than the people responsible, and that low-water point has sought and found Pennsylvania governor Edward G. Rendell, who repealed the helmet law to make it optional to wear them while riding. Twenty states have full helmet laws for all riders, including my home state of New Jersey.

During his appearance on WIP's morning show today, the governor defended his position by saying that bikers expressed their concern thusly (paraphrased): "We're responsible adults - and when we're on a highway or a country road we want to be able to ride without a helmet. During the summer, a helmet is oppressive." He also went on to explain that he wants people to be able to make their own choices, as long as the government makes us aware of the risks involved. That's a worthy argument, if it were not fraught with contradiction.

Let's say, for the sake of this argument, that I am a responsible adult. As such, I would also like to be able to make my own choices, and if I am aware of the risk, I should be able to make a decision about my own behavior, as long as that behavior affects only me.

This includes (but is not limited to) wearing a seat belt in my car. Both New Jersey and Pennsylvania require them, and currently we are going through a fund-raising effort sponsored by our state police that they call "Click It Or Ticket", which threatens us with fines if we fail to fasten our seat belt while driving. I use mine, because I think it makes sense, but I do not need the state threatening me with a fine if I choose to risk a skull injury by not clicking it.

Following Rendell's logic, I should be able to engage in a variety of in-house practices, as long as I do not endanger others, up to and including the consumption of illegal drugs, sodomy, gambling and perhaps even on-line poker. Perhaps the governor should adopt a policy of "in the privacy of your own home" and invite all the heathens and their enablers to join the party? Quickly, Pennsylvania would become the most densly populated state in the union. But, it will never happen. Why? Because sodomites and drug users have a weak lobby.

Somehow, the helmet-less riders persuaded the governor to repeal the law. Now, we find that it is not Ben's fault - or even the driver of the car he hit - it is the governor who allowed riders to do as they please. That would be a worthy excuse if the governor exercised the same judgment when it came to other habits and vices, but it doesn't seem to work that way.

Maybe it's just a case of Ben's bad judgment combined with his social status? After all, if it wasn't an accident involving a celebrity, it would be just another schmuck on a bike and not front-page news, and Ed wouldn't have to appear on morning radio to defend himself.