Saturday, June 24, 2006

Paintball Day

Falling far short of their programming needs, today, ESPN decided to broadcast the World Championships of Paintball. I know what you're thinking ... there's a championship of paintball? You bet there is, and it's on TV, which makes it a major event. I happened across it while touring the dial trying to avoid watching the Phillies.
A team from one of those Nordic countries was playing a team from Great Britian, and the announcer made a remark that made me think. Go figure, thinking during a paintball match. He was talking about one of the players (are they called players?) named Lundquist - guess which team he was on - and he described him as "the Zoolander of the sport of Paintball." That bought to mind three questions...
1 - Who the heck is Zoolander?
2 - Is Paintball a sport? ... and
3 - What the Hell does 'the Zoolander of paintball' mean?
If you can figure it out, feel free to post a comment, because I need to catch up on my sleep.
Meanwhile, you may also ask, why I was avoiding watching the Phillies? It's not only because they are a bad baseball team right now, because they are just as bad off the field as they are on. On Friday, Phillies pitcher Brett Myers was arrested for physically abusing his wife on a Boston street corner. According to police reports, he struck her twice with a closed fist and she was heard to say, "I'm not going to let you do this to me anymore." The key word there is 'anymore', implying that it has happened at least one other time.
I don't know how the story has played where you live, dear readers, but here in the Philadelphia area, it is getting a lot of exposure. I don't need to go into the disgusting nature of violence against women, and neither do I need to expand on the allegations, since, without benefit of proper legal proceedings, are strictly the stuff of reports, two independent witnesses notwithstanding.
What made me seek out other forms of entertainment (if you can count paintball as entertainment) is the fact that Myers was pitching today's game in Boston. It was difficult for me to look at him without thinking about the horrible accusations, and I wondered why the Phillies would even want him on the mound in a nationally televised game. But such is the nature of professional sports (even paintball?) that louts and near-criminals are given a stage on which to ply their craft. It isn't relegated to sports, but today it was the focus of attention for over 3 hours.
The thing that bothered me about the baseball game was the fact that the Phillies trotted Myers out there as though nothing had happened. I had trouble looking at his stupid face, and I couldn't help but make the connection between him and his behavior. I'm very close to being done with pro sports altogether. Let them play their games and beat their wives if they want, but include me out.
Today's promotion at Fenway Park should have been "Paintball Day", where all fans were given a paintball gun and instructed to aim it at Myers. Now, that's entertainment!


Kate Michele said...

OOOO Can I shot first??? Please please let me let me!!!!

Abuse of any kind disgust me... I'm with you, I wouldn't want to look at he's face either.

As far as the Zoolander thing, I beleive it was a stupid Ben Stiller movie about him being a model or something.... Never saw it so I don;t understand their comment either. I probably wasn't much help there, was I??

Anthony said...

A little help. I think they said something about the Lundquist guy being a model. Who knows?

Who would figure a big, Nordic guy being a model? The world is an imperfect place, as Brett Myers is well aware.

I was rooting for a line drive off his skull.

Pam said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Pam said...

Sorry for deleting my last post. Just a complete lack of proofreading on my part and I was too embarassed to leave it up there. Here is the edited version:

My husband gave up being a pro sports fan (well, except golf) awhile ago, for the exact reason you describe. I guess it's hard being rewarded for overly aggressive behavior in one area of your life and being expected to act like a human in the others. Add in a lot of money and it's a short road to dickville.

As for zoolander...when all else fails, ask wikipedia!

kimmyk said...

So the paintballer is a dumb looking model sort of guy who runs through the woods trying to shoot other paintballers in the head with colored paint? Niice.

The Phillies shouldn't let him play.

I have no tolerance for violence toward anyone, but always thought it would be a good idea to have those that inflict pain receive the same pain they inflicted upon another human being. Especially those that harm children. But then we have violence begets more violence and the vicous cycle just continues.