Where can I find a closed course?

Professional driver on a closed course.

That's what the car ads say. We buy into it, thinking that the vehicle will somehow handle as well with our stupid asses behind the wheel as it does with a professional driver on a road with no other cars. If they really wanted to sell cars, they'd put some half-blind old man behind the wheel and see if he could successfully merge into traffic on the expressway. Then, the ad could say "Half-blind old man on a busy road."

Imagine how you could do.