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I heard on the radio today that the median price for a ticket to next Sunday's Super Bowl (a.k.a. The Big Game) on Stubhub is $3500. Median price. If you paid attention in math class you know what median means.

Taking a look at the listings shows me that the median is a bit skewed by some outrageous prices. The lowest price is $1,536 for upper level end zone and there are luxury suites priced between $69,000 and $308,000. For that kind of money the seat should come with a blow job.

The caveat in the $308,000 is that the suite will "accommodate up to 40 people" so let's split that up amongst our buddies. It doesn't look as bad when you figure all you'd have to do is chip-in $7,700 each to see the game. I don't know 40 people, let alone 40 who have that kind of scratch to see a football game that they'll probably wind up watching on the TV in the luxury suite.

You'll also notice that the ads that are running for the Super Bowl call it "The Big Game." That's because advertisers aren't allowed to use the term Super Bowl or Super Sunday when they talk about the game unless the event is directly related to the National Football League. So, your local sports bar will be hosting a buffet and discounted beer for The Big Game on Sunday. You're supposed to know what they're talking about. The terms "Super Bowl" and "Super Sunday" are trademarked, so watch your mouth. For $1,500 a ticket, I'd call it what I want.

Here's a funny thing:

The NFL claims that the use of the phrase "Super Bowl" implies an NFL affiliation, and on this basis the league asserts broad rights to restrict how the game may be shown publicly. For example, the league says Super Bowl showings are prohibited in churches or at other events that "promote a message," and venues that do not regularly show sporting events cannot show the Super Bowl on any television screen larger than 55 inches.

I can't imagine spending that kind of money to see a game, especially one that's on TV. Well, they're all on TV, which makes the ticket-buying experience even odder. Maybe ... maybe if the perfect storm of teams, city and stadium collided I might ... might pay $500, seeing as how it's a mini-vacation and all. Chargers vs. Eagles in Phoenix might do it, but even then I'd probably have to be drunk to get on the Internet and book the trip. Figure in the air fare (inflated for the weekend) hotel (inflated for the weekend) and what I'd spend on food (inflated for the weekend) and a $500 ticket to the game would probably cost about $3,500. I don't like to feel like someone is taking advantage of me when I go someplace, and Super Bowl weekend is one of the top 3 times that happens.

It's on TV for free.