Tonight at the grocery store, I bought a razor that runs on batteries. Some kind of 5-blade contraption called Gillette Fusion POWER Gamer, (I don't know what Gamer means) as though my regular razor isn't powerful enough. Maybe I should have saved the money and I could just shake my hand violently while I shave? "Soothing micropulses with incredible comfort" it says, "You'll barely feel the blades." That's good, because if it's one thing I don't want to feel it's blades. It promises "Gillette's Closest, Most Comfortable Shave" [in capital letters]. That's great, and I suppose it's 20 percent better than those stupid 4-blade shavers. There's a button on it that you push to make it vibrate, and judging from the shape of it, I'd say it has other uses. Marketing, boys.
I got a replacement credit card in the mail yesterday. I know, life gets more and more exciting, right? Anyway - on the front of the card is one of those stickers that gives out a phone number that I'm supposed to call to "activate" the card. And we call, don't we? Because we're afraid that if we don't, the card won't work. My guess is that we don't have to call the number and the card is already activated, but we sit through that nonsense with the recorded voice asking us those stupid questions about our Social Security number and such. The kicker is when we are put on the phone with a "representative" (named Hadji or Ramesh or something) and he tries to sell us credit card protection or some pricey credit report subscription. That's where I figure the whole activation sequence is merely a front for the sales pitch that comes at the end. We're suckers for crap like that. Next time, don't call and use the card anyway. I'll bet it works just the same.
Then I had to buy printer cartridges. I have a nice Epson 6-cartridge photo printer that I'm afraid to use because if I use it, I'll have to buy more printer cartridges. I think the printer was $150 and the cartridges cost about $90. The thing I don't get (among other things) is how 5 color cartridges cost $70 and one black one costs $20.
Oh wait - we use the black one more than the color ones. Right.