Monday, July 14, 2008

Me and my teeth.

I went to the dentist today. I saw you cringe just a little. The dentist is one of those people that we're never happy to see. We tolerate it, as I did today, because sometimes it's just a cleaning. Even though I get the creeps when the hygienist starts scraping. I try to persevere because I don't want her to think she's hurting me.
Teeth, in general give me the creeps. I don't like looking at them or looking at photos of deformed teeth. Typing teeth into a Yahoo search makes me cringe. I'll brush and floss, but beyond that I don't want anything to do with teeth. I realize the cleanings are important, but I'd rather send my teeth in separately. I'll pick them up when they're done.
It must be strange to work in a dentist's office. Generally, people are there because they have to be there, not because they want to be. Then, they're usually told to do something that they don't want to do - like floss - which is most of the reason they have to come back so often. They're happiest when you don't see them.
The worst part for me though, is the prep time. Because I'm a bit of a neurotic, I spend a half hour clipping nose hairs, ear hairs and polishing myself for the visit. Listerine is a must. Three doses - one at home and two in the parking lot before I go in so it doesn't wear off. I don't want to be "that guy" who comes in and the hygienists have to draw straws.
There's a TV, which I've written about before. Today I asked her to tune it in to the bike race. I figured everyone knew there was a bike race on.
"Where is this?" she inquired.
"France. It's the Tour de France." She didn't know I spoke French. I didn't dare say that they were on the Col du Tourmalet, because then I'd have to tell her where it was. It's in France.
"Oh, is it live?"
"Oh yes." At that point I realized that I exist in a world that spins slightly outside the orbit of the rest of the humans. It's OK though. I don't expect most people to know anything about bike racing or even that they race bicycles.
The saddest part of the day is that I intentionally made the appointment for 9:00am on a Monday so that I could take the day off and ... I don't know ... do something.
Of course, it started raining around 5:00am and as I sit staring out the window and typing, the rain is still coming down - because that's what rain does.
I repeat the mantra to myself: A bad day at home is better than a good day at work.


Handsome B. Wonderful said...

I'm neurotic about prep time too. I brush my teeth twice before leaving and do the mouth wash too.

There is a part of me that thinks, "If I just brush again and do mouth wash then maybe it will fix any problem spots so the dentist won't know that I'm not flossing."

Of course this is absurd but I grasp at straws when it comes to the dentist visits.

I too love the Tour. I've been watching it since I was a kid. I got into it thanks to Greg LeMond. I was so inspired that he was racing that one year despite a recent gun shot wound.

Then of course there is Lance the bionic man. And now we have an American in third place I think I saw yesterday? Sweetness.

kimmyk said...

i would rather get a pap smear then to get my teeth cleaned.

and trust me, you wanna talk about prep time? yeah. gyno appt. helloooo....

Kate Michele said...

the dentist for me is a day of people watching. i dont have dental insurance so i have to go to the clinic... so you know at least i have entertainment.

Handsome B. Wonderful said...

I have a lot of dreams about loosing teeth.

Over-da-hill DMB fan said...

I KNOW I'm a freak-o-nature because I LOVE going to the dentist...would MUCH rather have that than a trip to the gyno!!!

However, I MUST agree... that no matter which doc is pokin', proddin', stickin or prickin''s a MUCH better day than goin' to that torture chamber called...GULP -- WORK... (insert deep dark Boris Karloff laugh)