Thursday, November 6, 2008

Christmas in October

My neighbor has his Christmas tree up.
It was up two days ago. I'd like to cat burglar the joint and throw it in the trash with a little note that says: It isn't Thanksgiving yet, but I'll just leave it be. The trouble is, I have to look at it every day when I get home.
When I got to work on Monday morning, Christmas MUZAK was playing over the speaker. Thankfully, somebody complained and they switched it off because it takes three days to get a gun permit in New Jersey and I didn't have that kind of time.
Three weeks ago the Christmas junk was out at The Home Depot, which is probably where my neighbor got his plastic tree.
The commercialization of Christmas has crept back to Hallowe'en and it won't be long before it's back to Labor Day - the unofficial end of summer. I'm figuring a Sarah Palin presidency will bring that about, along with the end of civilization.
And we have this from Leesburg, Virginia on what turned out mercifully to be the end of the McCain/Palin onslaught:
"Sarah Oh-Twelve!" bellowed a man in field coat and jeans, one of several thousand at the Leesburg rally, when Palin spoke about her tax policies yesterday.
Oh-twelve? Sure, I'm willing to wait until 20,012 and if Sarah is still around by then, cryogenically preserved, I'm guessing. Then I'll be a staunch supporter. Honestly, if ... oh, never mind.
One of John McCain's advisers recently called his running mate Sarah Palin a "diva" after she went off-script at a rally, and suggested she was looking after her own political future over the current campaign. Now another adviser ups the ante in a conversation with the Politico's Playbook, labeling Palin a "whack job."
"She is a diva. She takes no advice from anyone," a McCain adviser told CNN. "She does not have any relationships of trust with any of us, her family or anyone else. Also, she is playing for her own future and sees herself as the next leader of the party."
Speaking as a Democrat, I'd say the Republican party and Sarah are a match made in heaven.


Kate Michele said...

I do not like nor look forward to Christmas. I don't know why and many give me shit about it but i don't. So i will be more than glad to join you on the Christmas tree caper plot.

Sarah wants to be the leader of her party? Well then. I now pronounce you no grip on reality and stupider than thou. Congratulations. Let me guess? You're registered at...Neimen Marcus?


anna said...

Your neighbor should die.

Anthony said...

K8: If I could, I'd go into hibernation from Thanksgiving till January 2, but I'm forced to deal with these people.

anna: If you saw him, you'd think he was dead already. :)

Handsome B. Wonderful said...

You know, there are people out there who would probably be fine having Christmas every day.

I find it to be the most annoying holiday. It's like a bad acid trip: Crazy colored lights, Jesus bleeding on top of a tree and a fat man in a red suit. Creepy.

susan said...

In Middlesex County where I live, there are several streets where every house has a 'Griswold Christmas theme. You can go blind from the lights.

I worry that Santa won't be able to see the house, let alone the chimney.

what do you think their PSE&G bill would be?