Sunday, October 12, 2008

Life's hard lessons

I did some heavy duty bike commuting today. 26 miles in and around Gloucester County, which probably qualifies me for some sort of battle commendation.
After a few stops, I quietly wondered to myself how I had managed to go 15 miles without a major confrontation with one of New Jersey's courteous drivers. No sooner did I wonder than it happened.
While crossing an overpass on a 4-lane highway, a blowhole in a white pick-up truck passed me in close proximity and laid on his horn while doing so. This not only irritated me, but confirmed my feelings about goons in big trucks. As though it isn't hard enough riding a bicycle up a hill in traffic, I need this wanker blowing his horn at me.
Usually, such actions offer no repercussions, since the driver is usually much faster than I. As fortune would have it, he had to obey a red light at an intersection less than 200 feet from the overpass, giving me the time to catch him and hatch my plot.
Seeing that the passenger window was open and that he was turning left and I was going right, I took the opportunity to call up Mister Potty Mouth, and soon found myself within mouth-shot of his vehicle.
"Screw you, asshole!" was the first and most appropriate thing I could think of to say. I could have debated his actions or used the opportunity to teach him common courtesy, but my experience tells me that such actions are neither appreciated nor understood. So, when in doubt, cuss it out. Good advice for the kids.
What I saw as I yelled my epithet was that his vehicle was occupied by not only the asshole in question, but a young woman and younger child.
Well, I suppose the kid had to learn sooner or later that his (or her) (probably) illegitimate father was indeed an asshole.
Learning is hard.


kimmyk said...

yeah life lessons suck sometimes.

"yeah and then some guy on a bike called daddy an asshole!"

five years later around the kitchen table...

"dad, remember when that guy called you an asshole that day? yeah that was funny!"

see, you win. and you will win five years from now when that lil kid is rehashing the details of today. because it will happen. all the things you want kids to remember, they forget and vice versa.

yeah for you!

Anthony said...

I felt bad about it for about 5 seconds, then I realized that a guy with a kid in a car should think about what he is doing before he does it.
Sets a bad example for Junior.

Dad always taught me to stand up for myself when provoked.

Thanks dad.

Kate Michele said...

"So, when in doubt, cuss it out."

i want this on a t-shirt!!!!... hmmm oh cafe press!!......where ought tho?

my father taught me the same thing though he also tells me that one day my mouth is going to get me into trouble. im still confused.

Handsome B. Wonderful said...

then I realized that a guy with a kid in a car should think about what he is doing before he does it.
Sets a bad example for Junior.

Exactly. You're my hero for standing up for yourself like that. I usually am too intimidated. Although yesterday I flipped this lady off who had a cell phone lodged up into her ear canal going 30 mph in a 55.