Another made-up holiday.

That's right. It's Boss's Day. Although I think the correct punctuation is Boss' Day, (or at least Bosses Day) but let's not quibble; let's celebrate!

One of society's little glitches is that people who are famous or popular generally don't have to pay for much.

They get comped at casinos, free meals when they dine out and gifts from fans who think they can give them something they couldn't buy for themselves if they really wanted it.

That's why I'm amazed whenever I see someone picking up a dinner check for a person whose salary has more zeroes than this season's Dancing With the Stars. Let them buy their own crap.

So, in order to honor that little conundrum, some sick bastard dreamed up Boss' Day. It's October 16, so I've left you at least 24 hours to go out and buy your poor put-upon boss something nice.

Here's the history, just so you know:

Patricia Bays Haroski registered "National Boss' Day" with the U.S. Chamber of Commerce in 1958. She was working as a secretary for State Farm Insurance Company in Deerfield, Illinois at the time and chose October 16th because it was the birthday of her boss, who happened to be her father.

That's right, sports fans. Her father. Thanks Patricia, you flaming jackass. Now, several thousand guilt-ridden employees who generally would lend a hand to push their boss off a tall building must go out and spend their own money on a gift to someone who provides the money they just spent. My head hurts.

Here's my suggestion: Do what most bosses do. Ignore it. It will go away. Or better yet, call in sick for a couple of days and let your boss do some work. Take a nice 4-day weekend. Then, send your boss a postcard from a little bed and breakfast nearby with the inscription: The scenery is here, wish you were beautiful.

Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.