Oh, the convention. I'm not watching. Partly because I already know for whom I'm voting and partly because I think they're a colossal waste of time and money.
They're a leftover tradition from a time when there were not many opportunities for delegates to get together and share ideas, what with horse-drawn transportation and dirt roads and all. Now, with the Internet and those new-fangled airplanes the delegates are never more than three hours away from each other. Plus, the parties have such deep pockets that it isn't as though they can't afford to fly places.
But we're stuck with them and it's nice that the networks aren't saturating us with coverage, leaving it to the cable outlets. There's some new-fangled technology at work, eh? Besides, the networks are busy with Greatest American Dog, Wife Swap and America's Got Talent; so you can excuse them for dissing the convention for such original prime time programs. The greatest American dog will be repeated when the Republican convention starts.
I know I'm missing out on some great orators and some fine political commentary, like Dennis Kucinich, who proclaimed "Wake up, America!" as his mantra and when Virginia governor Mark Warner (the keynote speaker on Tuesday) asked us to engage in the "race for the future." Really, he said that. Let's hurry and get to tomorrow. I'm sorry I missed that. Later, he drew a big response from the crowd when he urged us to get behind the idea of "100 mile-per-gallon, plug-in hybrid cars." Um, Mark - how are you measuring electric hybrid cars in terms of gallons? Weights and measures 101, dude.
I missed CNN's Gloria Borger's "prebuttal" 2 hours before Hillary Clinton's speech. That's right, she prebutted a rebuttal before Hillary had a chance to buttle. Talk about filling airtime. Way to go, CNN. I'm sorry I missed Hillary's butt-kissing performance. That's the beauty of conventions. A lot of former candidates now have to swallow hard and get behind the guy who just kicked their asses. It's all a little (a lot) hypocritical to me.
Lucky for me I can get everything I need from the newspaper. That is, everything or nothing at all.
NBC's political analyst Chuck Todd said that Tuesday was a "red meat night."
I guess that makes me a vegetarian.