Wither thou goest, brain functions?

You'd be surprised how often I sit here (where I'm sitting now) without a clue of what to put here, either because I've nothing to say or what I have to say I've said before. It's over two years of this stuff and there's only so much going on in the world. Usually, I just start rambling and see if I can make it to the end:

Last night I ordered some clothes from American Eagle over the Internet. Today I received a coupon in the mail for 15-percent off my next shopping order.

When I got home from work on Friday night I spent a few minutes gathering up stuff and changing clothes for a bike ride to the local gym. I went downstairs to fetch the bike and found the rear tire was flat. That's a pisser. Upon further inspection I found that the tire had a quarter-inch gash in it, which is where I reasoned the air escaped. Rocket science. So, I had to use the car to buy a new tube and tire and while I'm out, go to the gym. What puzzles me is how I got the bike home with a tear in the tire. The hole in the tire and the tube is big enough that it probably happened quickly, so one is left to wonder how long I rode on it without a pound of air. That's probably why the wheel is a little off kilter. Another trip to the bike shop on Saturday.

On my little jaunt to Shea Stadium last week we used a co-worker's GPS device to help us get there. It's the second time I've seen one in action and I'm intrigued to the point that I'd like to have one. Plug in the address and forget about it. No maps, no Mapquest, no directions. Just give me the address. If you make a wrong turn it re-calculates you route. I'd need the one that talks, because I'm funny that way. The Garmin nuvi 260. $219.

I'd like to find a device that tells me which choices to make in life, then re-calculates when I don't listen. An LPS - Life Positioning System. I probably would have broken it by now from overheating.

"I'll have one more drink." [multiple instances] Re-calculating.

"This looks like a great deal." [multiple instances] Re-calculating.

"What could possibly go wrong with a brand new Ford Pinto?" Re-calculating.

"Would you like to go out with me?" [multiple instances] Re-calculating.

"Sure, I'll drive you to the airport." Re-calculating.

"Wow, my first college course. I'm so excited." Re-calculating.

"What am I going to do with all these baseball cards?" Re-calculating.

"Don't you have to tighten all the bolts first?" Re-calculating.

"I do." [one instance] Re-calculating .................. tick-tick-tick-tick ...