Maybe you shouldn't bother saving for retirement

Remember the flesh-eating virus from a few years ago? That was like a head cold, comparatively.

WASHINGTON - A dangerous microbe that has been spreading around the country causes more life-threatening infections than public-health authorities had thought and is killing more Americans each year than the AIDS virus, federal officials reported yesterday.
The "superbug," a strain of a once-innocuous staph (Staphylococcus aureus or MRSA) bacterium that has become invulnerable to first-line antibiotics, is responsible for more than 94,000 serious infections and nearly 19,000 deaths each year, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention calculated. "This is a significant public-health problem," said Scott K. Fridkin, a CDC epidemiologist and one of the authors. "We should be very worried."

OK, I’m worried. Thanks for that. This new strain of virus is impervious to antibiotics. There is hope, however. Among the prevention methods advocated by the CDC: Good hygiene is the best way to avoid infection. Keep your hands clean by washing thoroughly with soap and water or using an alcohol-based hand cleaner.
Let’s see if I have this straight. Antibiotics are powerless, but soap and water are going to help you avoid it? And weren’t we told a while ago not to use that alcohol-based hand cleaner? I’m confused. This sounds like the old “duck and cover” stuff they told us when we were kids … well … when I was a kid. Apparently, we could avoid the radiation from a blast of an atom bomb by cowering under our desks. They told us that radiation didn’t penetrate wood and we believed them.

Wash up, gang. The virus'll getcha. This advice is coming from the same government that sells us alcohol, tobacco and firearms. They even devoted an entire division of government to it, and didn't even have to think up a catchy name. Eventually, something is going to kill you, and if you listened to every health advisory telling you to "eat more of this" or "eat less of that", you'd need a beer and a cigarette to calm your anxiety.

Every week it's something else. Drink a glass of wine, but not too much! Chocolate is good for you, just don't eat a lot of it. Pork has less fat than chicken, unless they're hot dogs. Guinness has fewer calories than Miller Lite, but Guinness fills you up faster. You can have cigarettes, but they'll give you cancer. Buy a gun, just don't shoot it at anyone.

Click on Yahoo News any day of the week and I'll bet you there's a story about something that you're supposed to do to be more healthy. If I ate the variety of foods that they tell us to eat, I'd have to eat constantly all day to fit them all in. Eat, just don't get fat, cause that'll kill you.
For God's sake, wash you hands, you’ll be fine. And wear a helmet...

The NFL has fined New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady $7,500 for not having his chin strap buckled during last week’s game against the Dallas Cowboys. Brady makes $10 million a year in base salary. $7,500 is 0.00075 of his yearly salary. To put it in perspective, that’s like a $30,000 worker being fined $22.50. Literally, pocket money.

My question to the NFL: What’s the point? If the guy doesn’t want to buckle his chin strap, do you think a twenty dollar fine is going to get him to change?
The NFL said it is to prevent concussions. If that’s the case, isn’t Tom’s noggin worth more than 20 bucks? Get serious.

Tighten up that chinstrap, Tommy boy. Or else your brains will be just like those helmet snack chips - crusty and full of air.

The top part (to the left) they'll screw on.