Meet the new day, same as the old day

As some of you know, I have begun the slow, agonizing chore of searching for a new job. It joins car shopping and dental work as things that I see as necessary evils. A recent outing took me to an open house for a financial company.

Every month, we loan hard-working American homeowners, like you, millions of dollars to consolidate debt and reach for their dreams.
We are a nationwide lender offering a wide range of mortgage-based products to homeowners with a variety of needs and goals.

So, who are these homeowners and what are their needs and goals? I’m glad you asked. The PowerPoint show told us that their average home value was $254,000, their average income was $125,000; they were between 29 and 42 years of age and their average amount of unsecured (credit card) debt was … ready … $70,000. That’s right. They owe more on their credit cards than the equity in their home.

So, our goal is to meet their needs by lending them money. That struck me as odd, since it sounds a lot like digging a hole to put the sand in. How can you help somebody get out of debt by loaning them money? They didn’t tell us, but they did tell us to expect to put in between 70 to 80 hours a week, working 9am to 9pm and weekends. For our time, they said we could expect to earn $120,000. Sounds nice, but when would I get to spend it?

It was at this time that I started looking around the room, and I noticed two things.
First, all the participants were men, and almost all of the company’s employees were men [there’s something manly about money-lending] all wearing that standard-issue dark blue suit and white shirt – except me, of course – big daddy. It struck me that if a one woman walked in wearing a red dress, and another walked in wearing the same thing, they would be apoplectic. Guys, however, can still function at full speed even though they are all wearing the exact same outfit. There’s something manly about a dark blue suit.

Secondly, all the participants were between the ages of 22 and 27. They are kids, fresh out of college and ripe for the picking. No home, no wife or children and no expectations for any, especially when the time demands of the job would make them very difficult to sustain. I also noticed in the two hours I was there that they didn’t say a word about benefits or vacation time. I’m thinking that vacation time is between 9:01pm and 8:59am, and you’d better not get sick.

Even though the company seemed to be honest and above reproach, there was a smell of snake oil in the air. Promises of big earnings, lots of work and supposedly everybody benefits make me wary of the people involved. I’m too old and cynical to believe all of that, which is probably why they go after kids. They target college students for the same reasons the evangelicals target kids. They can be molded to fit the company. I’m way too old and have way too many outside interests to even begin to think about working 80 hours a week, regardless of the pay. Somebody fresh out of college, however, is a sitting duck, and the perfect applicant for them.

Go get ‘em kids, and pray that your phone doesn’t ring with an incredible debt-consolidation offer. Of course, your advantage will be knowing what a scam it is – if you’re home to answer the phone.