Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Another Missed Opportunity

When I post a high score on the Yahtzee game on my Sony cell phone, it tells me "You Played Like a Real Pro!" Geez, I didn't even know there were professional cell phone Yahtzee leagues.
But, if I need to use steroids to compete, then I guess I'll have to pass. Yahtzee, I'm guessing, is best played either stoned or drunk. In that case, count me in.
Conversely, when I post a low score (because, I assume, I am not drunk enough) it tells me that "you need to practice some more." I interpret that to mean that I need to use more Southern Comfort and less cranberry juice.
Practice makes perfect.

Sunday, April 9, 2006

The Money Grab

On Tuesday, we are being subjected to yet another money grab by the entertainment industry.
The re-packaged versions of the Beatles albums that were originally released in the United States are being re-released on CD. That's right.
Never mind that the albums have already been released, albeit in their British forms - that is to say, their intended forms - and I suspect that anyone who wants them has already bought them.
But the good folks at Capitol Records have seen fit to suck some more money out of erstwhile Beatles fans with another set of CDs. Capitol ripped us off back in the 60s when they re-packaged the original Beatles albums for sale in the U.S. Old habits die hard, and this one has more lives than Freddy Kruger. Here we go again!
But wait! these are DIGITALLY REMASTERED - LIMITED EDITION - PRESENTED IN MONO & STEREO. Mono? What year is this? Do I want to regress back to the glorious days of mono? I have a CD player in my car, an MP3 player and a portable CD player, and they're giving me mono! Wow, what more could I want?
And, as we now know, several of these tracks ARE AVAILABLE FOR THE FIRST TIME ON CD! Woo-hoo, $55.98 for "In the Tyrol", one of the incidential instrumental tracks from the Help soundtrack. Who wants to be the first in line for that gem?
My only hope in all this artist-raping-the-public scam is that Michael Jackson no longer owns the rights to the songs. What percentage of the profits from the sales of this junk is going to his pedophile amusement park?
Finance it if you want, but as for me, if I want mono, I'll listen to my old LPs. And if the kids want mono, they can go to Jacko's ranch.

Saturday, April 8, 2006

Life's rich pageant

One of the ancillary effects of my trips to the world's greatest city is the opportunity to not only feel good about my own life, but to remember how fortunate I am to be where I am and not someplace else. A simple visit to a fast food restaurant can provide much more than calories, cholesterol and saturated fat.
If I sit there long enough, one of the less fortunate creatures among us will wander in, and seeing me alone with a bag of food, approach me for a handout. If you are the heartless type, you would be likely to tell them to get lost or get a job, but the part of me that believes "there but for the grace of God" always reaches into my pocket.
When I see them walking out with their own bag of food I know that for at least a little while, there is a person who isn't hungry. Their hunger returns though, and their fate is not always in my hands, so it is likely that their needs are not always being met.
What I think about as they are walking out is that the world is a diverse mix of people. Our needs are many but greatly different. A few blocks away there is a kid who wants a new iPod, and next to me is a grown man in need of a hot meal. How strange and sad that we have been made so differently, and that the world has been created so differently for some.
On my way home I passed a subdivision of new homes that cost $400,000. There will be no problem selling them. I also passed a man sleeping on a steam grate, wrapped in a blanket that is older than me. As far as he is concerned, those homes may as well be built on Mars.
Perspective is a fascinating thing, and if we lose it we lose something within ourselves.
I need to make more trips into the city.

Thursday, April 6, 2006

Junk on Television

There is a lot of junk on television.

I'm not talking about the programs, although there are enough of them to qualify. The junk is the stuff going on around the programs - icons, crawls, shrunken screens - all sorts of things designed to distract us from the program and make us pay attention to what else is on, rather than what is on now.

Several years ago, I purchased a 32-inch television to replace the 21-inch one that I had. Partly out of rebellion to a failed marriage, and partly because I wanted a bigger TV. (OK, mostly because I wanted a bigger TV) I could do what I wanted, and I wanted a big TV. Sure, it's not big by today's standards, but it was big then.

Little did I know that the 32-inch screen would soon become 21 inches, with the advent of modern technology that does little but make me yearn for the good old days - not the married part - just the TV part.

I'm trying to watch the news on CNN Headline News (the middle 'N' stands for News) but what I get is a screen full of so much junk that I can't concentrate on the news. Maybe that's the plan, I don't know, but whatever it is I don't like it.

There's a story about a movie, I guess, but I'm confused by another story about McDonald's, the weather in Dallas and a baseball score. I don't live in Dallas, so I don't care what the weather is, and I suspect that if I lived there, I'd already know what the weather was.

It's not like CNN is the only offender. Turn to any channel and there are spinning icons, crawls across the bottom of the screen and stuff that slides from one side to another telling me what is on after the show is over. It's distracting to the point that watching TV is a chore, and it shouldn't be a chore. It's bad enough sometimes, without making it a challenge to pay attention.

I wonder if the evolutionary process will bring about people with eyes that move independently, and are slightly more vertical than they are now, so that we can follow everything that's going on.

Or, maybe we'll end up like this guy?

The Perfect Food

Imagine two of the four basic food groups in one fantastic product. Beer and ice cream - well, not real beer, but the next best thing - beer flavored Black & Tan ice cream.

The mad scientists in Waterbury, Vermont have done it again! They have combined two of the greatest treats into one compact container. So, grab a pint of ice cream and a pint of Yuengling and get fat and happy at the same time.

While it sounds too good to be true, it is available at fine food stores nationwide.

Go Here: http://www.benandjerrys.com/our_products/flavorWorld.cfm