Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Consume at your own risk.

I usually ignore those "Caution: DO NOT EAT" packets that come in products that are impossible to eat. That's easy. I'm not going to eat something that comes out of a packet of air fresheners, but to ignore one that comes packed in actual food is a bit more difficult.
This Caution: DO NOT EAT packet came in a package of Harry & David Dark Chocolate Butter Pecan Moose Munch, which by the way, contained way more Munch than Moose, and precious few pecans. We need more Moose and pecans, please.
Anyway, there it was as I opened the package and dispensed it in a bowl.
But avoid it I did. The stores, however, are more difficult to ignore. Salespeople stand outside the store and entice those of us with few resistance skills with samples of their munchable snack foods. I think it's one of those places where you think you're eating something wholesome, when in fact, it is candy. I don't think we would want to know the calorie and fat content of this stuff, and to serve that purpose, I ignored the caloric data on the package. I think I saw 190 calories per serving and 12 servings per bag. In my sugary snack-induced coma, my mathematical skills were compromised.
The store has hardwood floors (which translate to "natural, good for you foods") and friendly, well-informed staff people who are happy to indulge our "can I try that" shopping with actually giving us something to try. Smart retailers know that giving consumers a taste of something for free is a great way to entice us to buy it. Dumb consumers buy stuff.
Try the chocolate/peanut butter balls.
So, I got through half a bag of dark chocolate Moose thingys without consuming the drying agent. What is interesting about the thing (if there is anything interesting) is that its trade name is Pillow Pak with the accompanying message: CONTAINS A HARMLESS ABSORBENT FOR HUMIDITY AND ODOR. That inspires two questions:
  1. If it is called a Pillow Pak, should the admonishment also include "Please do not use as a bed pillow" or "Do Not Sleep On?"
  2. If the contents are "harmless," why does it say "Do not eat?" If the contents are indeed harmless, then I should be able to eat them. What else does harmless mean?
There must be some harm.

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