Wednesday, October 14, 2009

My latest discovery.

The biggest scam in the history of retail has to be laundry detergent. [I know what you're thinking: "My God, he's been through every conceivable subject, and now he's onto laundry detergent - hand me the remote."] Is there an Internet remote?
Seriously (yes) I'm in the grocery store tonight, perusing my choices of detergent which, by the way, mostly have only one syllable [explain] when I notice that there is a wide swing of price from one product to another. I could have purchased the $7.49 container that promised to get my clothes clean, but instead purchased the $2.49 container which promised the identical thing. Is there enough of a difference from one product to another to justify a 332% difference in price? Methinks there is not, hence the scam.
Clean clothes are a priority in my life, but if I wanted to spend eight bucks, I'd just as soon take them to the dry cleaners and save the water. Maybe that's the trick?
After all, I'm not dealing with blood stains or some ground-in grime like the TV commercials tell us we have. I sit still most of the day, and at the most I perspire a little. I think $2.49 is worth that effort. Sometimes, I wonder if just running the water would be enough. God forbid we find that out.
And I'm still fighting over the bags. [I know - here he goes about the bags again] At the Wawa this morning, I walk up with two things - a package of trail mix and a sugar-free Red Bull (I'm off sugar) and the cashier immediately starts shuffling them into a bag. "I don't need a bag," I say.
I'm thinking of having a T-shirt made. They always look a little offended, as though they're being paid by the bag.
And tonight at the aforesaid grocery store, I brought in my own canvas bag with plenty of room for the detergent and a few sundries. The bagger at the end of the line says, "Do you want all of this in one bag?"
"Yes, but I'll need some help carrying it out." Is what I should have said.
But what I actually said was, "Yes."
I'm way too nice sometimes.

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