What's it all about?

On the long list of things I do not understand is Valentine’s Day. I didn’t understand it when I was a kid in grammar school, running around from desk to desk handing out cards to all the girls in the class – including the ones I didn’t like – until now, when the childlike innocence of the day has been bought-out by big jewelry store chains and flower stores. The card said “Be My Valentine” or something to that effect. We were kids, so naturally none of us had girlfriends or even understood the concept (something else for the list) so it’s beyond me what was going through my pea brain while I was putting those little cards on their desks and (egad) signing my name. Was I now contractually obligated to have her as my Valentine? Sheesh.

What does “be my Valentine” mean, anyway? If you have a girlfriend, isn’t she automatically your Valentine? And if you don’t, I have yet to see a card or gift that is made for someone to whom you wouldn’t have already asked out if you cared enough to give her a card. So what’s the point?

Try giving a Valentine to a woman you aren’t dating and see the look you get. It will be one of those, “What the fuck is this?” expressions that will be accompanied by some stammering and a quick “thank you.” Then, what are we supposed to do?

Is Valentine’s Day a dating lottery where we scattershot a bunch of cards hoping (in a grammar school-induced haze) that one of the women we hand a card to will magically say, “Gee, I’ve been waiting for this all year!” and be swept away by our random act of thoughtfulness? I don’t think so. I think it will be more along the lines of the “WTF is this?” deal.

Society has morphed the day into a “couples only” affair, and yet another so-called holiday where single people (real single people, not single dating people) are left in the dust. Here’s a hint: Since the day falls on Saturday this year, make plans to eat at home, because your favorite restaurant will be jammed full of celebratory customers whose boyfriend/husband is foist into public by the obligation of the day. That’s the way some men feel about it, by the way – an obligation – thrust upon them by a heartless society [pun].

It’s an odd way to approach it, but I’ve seen it countless times. Men who have spent the better part of their adult lives in pursuit of women, are now put-upon by the day to selflessly show their affection. Some men don’t like that because it forces them to express a feeling.

Maybe Valentine's Day has gotten too serious? Actually, I'm sure it has.