Hold onto your hat!

One of my numerous e-mail messages today encouraged me to enter the Chapeau Blog Awards contest. What is that, you ask? I didn't know either, so on I read.

Dust off your shelf and make room for a Chapeau Blog Award! Be one of the first to enter the exclusive Chapeau Blog Award contest, solely dedicated to honoring the creative and inspired art of blogging.

Well, I don’t actually have a shelf, but I get the point. I figured, with the depth of scope and artful writing that takes place here nearly every day [ahem] I’d be a shoo-in. I didn’t even question why a blog award would be named after a French hat, but who am I to ask?

I scrolled down. Step 1 was asking me to choose one of their 12 categories. “Entertainment,” I figured. Hell, this is as entertaining as it gets, right? You betcha.

Step two was to select a blog award category from “Best industry or Best opinion.” Opinion, natch.

I scrolled down further to find…

A special discounted rate of $195 is available to bloggers who enter now!

A hundred ninety-five dollars. To enter a contest. What am I missing here? I’m sure I would be one of the first, because I can’t imagine too many other people willing to cough up two bills to enter a contest.

They go on to say…

Hundreds of deserving bloggers will be honored with a Chapeau Blog Award. And one blog will be named 2009 "Most Brilliant Blog"!

Hundreds? That’s rather vague. OK, let’s say 200. That’s plural of hundred. 200 times $195 = [math function] $39,000. And what is the prize, exactly? A title. There is no mention of a cash award (like maybe your money back) or a major advertising campaign, touting your blog and sending you to Regis and Kelly or something. Most Brilliant Blog. BFD.

In principle, I’m pissed that such a thing exists, but in practice I’m pissed that I didn’t think of it myself. Ask people to pay to enter a contest and have no cash award. Brilliant, indeed.

Have they ever heard the phrase, “No purchase necessary to enter?” I guess not. One of the problems with the Internet is there is no overseer. There's no Internet Police to lock up swindlers like these.

I’d call it the Escroquerie Blog Awards.

Look that up, Monsieur Chapeau.

Go ahead.