Short Attention Span Theater.

I'm exhausted. News events of the past week have left me with little to do but churn out 600-word essays on the current state of American social habits and their effects on the general public. I'm reminded of an exchange in the movie "Broadcast News":

Paul Moore: It must be nice to always believe you know better, to always think you're the smartest person in the room.

Jane Craig: No. It's awful.

Stop me if you've heard this:

A co-worker reported for work on Monday with a voice that sounded like radio static, insisted that he was "fine" and continued about his day. Tuesday, he came back and attended a seminar with 12 other employees and took a half-day sick. On Wednesday, he finally called in sick and went to his doctor, who told him that he had an "infectious bacteria" in his throat and that his doctor told him that it wasn't contagious, so he could return to work. We know this because he came back to work on Thursday, presumably to finish infecting the rest of us in the re-circulated air and enclosed environment of the modern office. At lunch, I placed a newspaper on the table space next to me so that he would sit at the opposite end, thus leaving my food to the exposed air.

I'm not a doctor (no kidding) but whenever I hear the words infectious and bacteria in the same sentence, not separated by a modifier like minor or benign, I figure that the infectious part is the priority, and if it wasn't contagious, how did he get it to begin with? Plus, the guy spent the day coughing and sneezing, and I have to figure something was spewing out, and if it's bacteria, I really don't want to deal with it - infectious or not.

NOTE TO EMPLOYEES: The world and the company will not stop producing if you decide to take a couple of days off. Give the rest of us healthy people a break, stay home and confine your illness to your loved ones, one of which has pledged to love and care for you "in sickness and in health". The rest of us aren't all that interested.

I watched the DVD of "No Country for Old Men" last night, and it was just as good the second time as it was the first time. This time, I got to enjoy the dialogue and the great writing and acting that went into a film that richly deserved the Oscar for Best Picture. The tension of the unknown was gone, but I was left to examine the characters a bit more and enjoy the easy way that Tommy Lee Jones carried off his role as Sheriff Ed Tom Bell, Josh Brolin, Javier Bardem and even Woody Harrelson, who does a nice turn as a guy who knows more than he ever tells us about Anton Chigurh. As for me, I loved the ending.

Ed Tom Bell: [talking to Ellis] I always figured when I got older, God would sorta come into my life somehow, and he didn't. I don't blame him. If I was him I would have the same opinion of me that he does.

I've had two thousand page hits over Kelly Zimmerman and counting. It doesn't let up. People come here looking for pictures or info about the Academy, her or her biker convention. It's amazing to me that there's so much interest in it, and virtually none for Elliot Spitzer or his shenanigans. As I said before, I only hope they stop to read and realize that it's pure nonsense and merely the TV and newspaper media making something out of nothing.

I haven't filed my income taxes yet. I remember when I started working and got those stupid thouand dollar refunds, I couldn't wait to file and counted the days until the "refund" check arrived. Since then, I've gotten smarter (hence the quote above) and now wait until April to file. I never have to pay, but I'm really not all that interested in the process at all, and if it weren't for the prospect of going to prison or paying a hefty fine, I'd just as soon not bother.

I just discovered that national media nitwit Ann Coulter has checked in on the Elliot Spitzer affair, calling it Whoreable Behavior. I'll bet she spent a day coming up with that one. I can't read it, but you can.

Gold is $1,000 an ounce. Really. I never figured out the allure of the precious metals thing. It's supposed to be a hedge against inflation, and now that our economy is in a recession, it's probably driving the price of something that is at least real and not paper, like stocks.

Gold, which has soared to record levels in the past year, hit a new milestone Thursday, rising to $1,000 an ounce for the first time in futures trading - a boon for investors, but a deterrent to consumers shopping for jewelry.

Like a lot of things, it's a boon to people who buy the commodity but a detriment to people who want to buy things that are made from that commodity - like gasoline and oil, that is also at record levels. Meanwhile, people who drive cars or like nice jewelry are screwed. Sound familiar? I've always thought it was odd that the two most precious metals are named after their colors. Gold and silver. So, a seller can say something is "gold", which would be true because its color is also gold, so it doesn't have to be real gold. Likewise for silver.

I really don't know what to do with my money, other than spend it on cable TV, utility bills, gasoline or food, which seems to take up most of the money, leaving me no real decision other than to think about when the next paycheck is coming.