The Internet and all its warts.

By the latest unofficial count, the page hits over the Kelly Zimmerman story is up over 700. That's about as many as I had when I wrote about Alycia Lane, or when Jane Fonda used the C-word, which was more ado about nothing. Here's a little piece from the latest story:

Some Trentonians said they don't understand what the uproar is all about. "No, I don't think it's a big deal, not at all," said George Brewington, of Trenton. "That's just a woman in a bathing suit."

Right you are, George. I'd be willing to bet that most Trentonians don't understand what all the uproar is about. You guys need to do more legwork. The only one who does understand is The Trentonian that calls itself a newspaper.

People love the scandal, even if they have to make it up. I think it makes people feel better about themselves if they can find perceived fault with others. They make fun of their weight, hair loss or some other genetic malady in a vein effort to make themselves look bigger. What it does in actuality is make them look smaller.

Meanwhile, I'm getting page hits from places like Edison, NJ; Long Beach, CA; Jacksonville, FLA; Plano, TX; San Jose, CA; Englewood, CO; Little Rock, AK; Wexford, PA ... the list goes on. I can only hope that once they landed here that they read what I wrote. That's the hard part - the reading. That's the part that takes time and understanding, two things sorely lacking in most of these cases.

It's the reason TV shows like Insider, Access Hollywood and Extra are popular and rags like The National Enquirer and The Trentonian sell so well and the reason why people like Harry Hairston and L.A. Parker have a job.

It's also part of the reason that the Internet is a big deal. Instantly, (or almost instantly) you can type in a search and find whatever you're looking for. We're spoiled by technology. In the good old days, we had to go to the public library and (if we were lucky) photocopy newspapers that had week-old articles, vaguely covering the subject we were researching.

Now, we can type in a person's name, a plus sign and words like nude, bikini or hairy arms (yes, I get those too, God knows how) and up pops ... something. A mouse click and we're off, so to speak. We take the good with the bad.

Odd news stories used to be confined to their locales. They would run their cycle - front page, sidebar and back page - until they disappeared as quickly as they came, and rightfully so. The problem with the Internet is that the stories have legs, arms and a tail. People from Little Rock Arkansas can find them even if they don't know exactly what they're looking for. Somebody at work said that she heard something from her boyfriend about a story that he saw on a web site that had a girl in a bathing suit. One Google search later and it's a National phenomenon. I can tell that they don't know what they're looking for because most of them don't know how to spell Alycia.

Kelly is having a difficult time now because enough people don't read this blog or listen to what George Brewington says. In the good old days, people could flee the scene and start a new life in Plano, Texas or Little Rock, Arkansas; where, fortunately for them, they don't read The Trentonian or watch NBC10.

Now, it's the stuff of TV shows and the Internet and it spreads like a virus. Why? Because we're starved for things that make us feel better about the things that we do in our spare time that don't make it to the newspaper. I'm not sure if I'm part of the problem or part of the solution. People come here looking for scandal and when they don't find it, I figure they wander someplace else until they do. click - click - click. At least George and I are paying attention.

It's a shame because there's a lot of interesting stuff on the web. When I write about politics, sports or life in general I get the normal 25 to 50 page views. I know when I write about some alleged scandal, the page hits skyrocket. I just wish I was getting paid for it sometimes. Just wait until you see what happens when I post an essay about Elliot Spitzer. Hoo-boy!

Because nobody ever lost money underestimating the intelligence of the American public. For me, every day it gets harder to underestimate it.