It's Tournament time!

I don't watch NCAA basketball much during the regular season, but for some reason I watch almost non-stop during the tournament. It has nothing to do with wagering big bucks on pools. I'm only in two. One is with 3 other people over bragging rights (and lunch) at work and the other is over on Sparky's blog for some beer. I like to win, but neither of them detracts from my enjoyment of a good game, even if my pick loses.

The action is on the TV on CBS, who has brought out their farm of announcers to broadcast the games. I'm guessing that the only reason most of these guys have a job is because there are 32 first-round games to show. Otherwise, they'd be at home watching on TV like I. Yesterday, a player named Young made a key basket, and the color man screamed, "Only the Young survive!" What? That doesn't make sense. They're so anxious to come up with the next big Al Michaels 'do you believe in miracles' quote that they reach (over-reach) for any stupid analogy and mostly, they're shooting air balls.

I've learned to distinguish several popular songs in marching-band form. Recently, I was able to distinguish the White Stripes' Seven Nation Army, but I had to wait for the band to stop playing it and hum it to myself. If I hadn't come up with it, I would have lost some sleep.

There are more sponsors and product tie-in's than a NASCAR race. Sometimes, it's tough to work in a game with all the promos and between-foul-shots advertisements. Upon his retirement a couple years ago, Keith Jackson said that a big reason he left was that he had to interrupt his game call 56 times for different network promos or product ads. It's disruptive, but like so many other things, it's been weaved into the fabric so that now, it's barely noticeable. Only old-heads like Keith and I notice.

Over on ESPN2 the women are playing their tournament. First, it's on ESPN2, which should tell you something. NASCAR was on ESPN, but not even real NASCAR - the Nationwide series, like NASCAR junior. Second, from the looks of the stands, they could have drawn more fans for a nose-picking contest, which is a shame. Women's basketball has seen better days, and I'm hearing that the NBA is ready to pull the plug on the WNBA, so those girls had better be hitting the books.

Speaking of which, there is a series of ads running on the Men's tournament that spotlight so-called Student Athletes. One features a couple of kids drooling over trading cards of scientists and architects. The NCAA figures that they can con us into thinking that the players are taking real classes and studying like real students. Let's face it, the NCAA basketball program is a minor league for the NBA. The sad part is that the NBA rosters are limited, so those kids had better be studying just as hard as their women counterparts.

I suppose I'm a frustrated network TV executive, but I always look to see which counter-programming the other networks offer when a big national event is running. Over on ABC they're showing "The Ten Commandments", a 52-year old film that doesn't cost them a nickel to show, so if no one watches, it doesn't matter. And if they do, they would see that the cheap bastards didn't have the respect to show it in wide-screen. On NBC, they're going for the basketball widow crowd, with Celebrity Apprentice and Law and Order. The husbands/boyfriends will be in the basement or at the bar watching basketball. Or maybe the girls will be in the basement? Some of them may even be at the bar. Watch your back, fellas.

As for me, I'm bucking the trend by posting a tournament analysis during the tournament. I'll get a page hit from Germany (I hope) and one from Sri Lanka, but the Indian will be searching for giving yourself a blow job, which I admittedly cannot help him with.