Friday, June 9, 2006

An Ever-Expanding List

I don't understand about diamonds and why men buy them. What's so impressive about a diamond, except the mining? - Fiona Apple, "Red Red Red"
Thanks, Fiona. Here are a few things that I don't understand:
UNTIED SHOES - The creative people at Nike and Reebok spend millions on research to figure out exactly how a shoe should fit, and a lot of people run around with the laces undone. A hundred dollars for shoes you aren't going to tie seems to me to be a waste of good technology.
PENNIES - C'mon with the pennies, already. Haven't we advanced far enough as a civilization that we can figure out how to price things so that we don't need pennies?
THE NINE-TENTHS AT THE END OF THE GASOLINE PRICE - Ditto. Try this: Stop by your local gasoline emporium and ask for a gallon. See how much it costs and try to get your one-tenth of a cent change.
TELEMARKETERS - I guess, if people weren't buying things from them, they wouldn't exist. But I have a hard time believing that you could sell something to someone with a cold call on the telephone.
MONEY CLIPS - Buy a wallet.
EXPENSIVE DRINKS - Eight dollars for a cocktail at The House of Blues in Atlantic City. Two of them and I could buy a whole bottle and mix it myself. They should hold AA meetings in there.
PANIC WHEN IT SNOWS - Here in New Jersey, an inch of snow is greeted with frenzied reports on local news and rushes of consumers to the local supermarkets for bread, milk and eggs. Apparently, snow makes people crave French Toast.
THE BALDY-BEARD LOOK - There are way too many guys running around with the shaved head and full beard. Either shave or don't.
THE COUPONS - Just lower the price and make all of our lives easier.
THE PANTS AROUND THE ASS - There are way too many guys running around with their pants around their asses. Pull up your pants and act like a grown-up. Nobody wants to see your underwear.
THE SHIRT DOWN TO THE KNEES - Buy a shirt that fits.
THE CAR STEREO BROADCAST - I don't need to hear Jay-Z at Space Shuttle lift-off volume rolling through my neighborhood. Keep your stupid music to yourself.
THE HEADPHONES IN PUBLIC - I think it says, 'leave me alone', which I can understand, but I'd like to tell them to tie their shoes, hitch up their pants and shave, but they can't hear me.
I also don't understand expensive handbags, but that's another story ...


Kate Michele said...

Funny you should mention pennies... Chad and I were flippin through channels late last night and the Tyra Banks show was on (which is another thing I don;t shows) and she had a girl on there that had a phobia of pennies!!! No joke like some people have all out melt downs over heights or snakes, this chick would have them over pennies!!!

As for the pants around the knees, I feel we as a society should be allowed to do what my junior high gym teacher would do.... If the boys wore their pants like that he'd come up behind them and pull them the rest of the way down...much to the delight of us girls!!! Lets just say after a few times they started wearing their pants a little less baggy!! lol

Sooo with you on the snow issue... People do that is Ohio as well! Its like they forget how to drive in it!! We live 20 miles from the snow belt for cripes sake!! It happens every year!!!

MyRiseAbove said...

You are full of opinions. Opinions most of us agree with though.

By the way, my husband shaves his head bald and has a Go-T.

I personaly think bald guys with facial hair is kind of sexy.

Although guys with long hair is sexy too.

Ok, so I'm not picky.

kimmyk said...

I don't understand the "thong". Explain that to me.

Other things I don't understand:

What's the point of having a "discount card" for the grocery store, the gas station, Dicks Sporting Goods when I get nothing in return but one more card to carry. Just give me the discount damnit.

I'm with ya on the headphones thing. My kid drives me crazy with that-and I'm screaming at him and he can't hear me. Maybe he don't want to hear me. He is 14. I didn't want to hear my parents at 14, but damnit...I had to and so should he.