A slow news day.

Basketball is something like life. Not a lot like life, but something like it. For example, the last 2 minutes take a half hour, because we value last two minutes of something more than the first two minutes. They run up and down the court for two hours only to have the outcome hinge on the last 2 minutes. Why don't they just play two minutes and get it over with?

That's why holiday shopping is such a farce. We put off purchases until the last day, thinking that the options will suddenly become clear to us, but they do not. The options are always the same, it's just the time constraint that changes.

It's funny to me when a team is ten points down with 30 seconds left, and they call a time out. The options do not change then either, and they are still left wondering. The guys on TV say that coaches don't want to go into the locker room with time out's remaining. That's nice, and it makes their employers think that they have done everything possible to win, but they're just acting like they have, which seems to be the priority. Maybe if they were more concerned at the beginning of the second half they wouldn't have to panic at the end. That's like the guy who has a high school reunion coming up in 6 weeks and suddenly decides he needs to lose 80 pounds. Ain't gonna happen.

Network TV loves it because they get to show more commercials. Those of us watching know the outcome, but we still watch thinking that some miracle will happen. It doesn't. The reason TV doesn't give up on lost causes is because of that Jets-Raiders football game in 1968. They called it "The Heidi Bowl" because the game ran into the time frame allotted for NBC to show "Heidi." Since the game's outcome seemed certain, NBC cut away with 65 seconds remaining and showed the movie at its original starting time. Then, the Raiders came back to win and nobody saw it. Now, games that are way out of hand remain on until the final seconds tick away. A 42-year old lesson. But that is football, and I digress.

The Final Four is set, and although there are still three games left to play, they call it final. Only one 1-seed remains, and I wonder how many clueless people will win their office pools because their grandson attends Butler University or they think that Michigan is a nice State. Either way, I'm out ten bucks.

Incidentally...

Why do I have a can of chick peas in my cupboard? Do I live at Saladworks? Don't do the grocery shopping when you're drunk. A little tip for the kids reading out there.