Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Malling it.

The Mall.
I used to do a lot of wandering around in malls. Now, not so much. Mostly because I'm not 20 years old and partly because I don't have a lot of money to spend, which is most of what you do at the mall.
I went on Tuesday after work because I had a gift card to spend. Of course, we never spend the gift card - we spend more than the gift card, which is why I think stores like selling them so much. They do research on junk like that.
The first thing to do at the mall is find something to eat. Our local mall has a nice food court, but it wasn't that long ago that malls didn't have food courts. I think you have to be over 40 years old to remember that. Generally, they had a pretzel place or some kind of fast food joint, but now there is an entire wing of the place devoted to food - including a pretzel place and a fast food joint. I ate at the Chinese place.
It's kind of noisy in the food court. That's because there is a new-fangled video music thing called Akoo where you're supposed to text your song selection and they claim to play it "soon." I sat there for a half hour and didn't hear one song or see an artist I recognized. I'm not 20 years old anymore. I'm sure there is some financial incentive to the mall and some kickback to Akoo from the music producers so that they find it profitable to bother us with noise while we're eating.
It has become increasingly difficult to find peace and quiet in public.
This explanation of Akoo was undoubtedly written by a marketing major from a huge expensive university:
Akoo’s patent-pending digital media and marketing platform, m-Venue™, enables partners to offer location-based entertainment to mobile consumers visiting their establishments. For the first time, consumers can use their mobile phones or Internet-connected mobile devices to search, select, and “activate” in-location audio/video content and interactive entertainment. Simultaneously, the m-Venue platform tracks consumers’ usage behaviors and preferences to facilitate more effective mobile-based promotions, loyalty & rewards programs and opt-in targeted marketing campaigns.
Have you ever heard so much crap crammed into one marketing paragraph? "Opt-in targeted marketing campaigns?" I'm guessing that if you're dopey enough to text them your request you'll be hounded by text messages for the rest of your life by their marketing partners. How many text messages that people seem so interested in getting do you suppose are from spam texters or marketers that they have unwittingly given their cell phone number to? Lots, I'm guessing.
Strangely enough, there isn't a store in the mall where one can buy a CD or DVD.
As you can see from the accompanying photo, the mall wasn't very crowded. As you can also see from the photo, our mall has a small train that runs in a circle around the main concourse. I'm not sure why.
As you can also see, my life has taken a dull turn, forcing me to look to the mall as a topic for a blog post. I hope to bring some excitement here soon.

3 comments:

God Of Bacon said...

When I go to the mall food court on a weekend evening, I'm reminded once again why those hyper-intelligent aliens decide not to land and solve all our problems.

susan said...

Could the small trains be used to put the small dogs people carry around with them in, to make a cute picture?

They don't have trains at the Quaker Bridge Mall or the Menlo Park or Woodbridge Malls.

Anthony said...

I saw a mother and child riding in it later. They even have a conductor dressed in a costume with a conductor's hat.
Children are easily entertained, and the parents are happy that the kid is quiet for 30 seconds.