Some water-cooler conversation, provided you can find a water cooler.

Now, finally we can put a number to it. 701,000.

Female solo artists account for eight of the top 10 albums on The Billboard 200. Susan Boyle leads the pack as "I Dreamed A Dream" debuts at #1 with sales of 701,000.

701,000 official nitwits in the world. Now that we know that, we can get on with our lives. This is why we'll never do away with these so-called "talent" shows where celebrities are foist upon us. It's a pandemic worse than Swine Flu. It's worse because the only cure is death. I dreamed a dream ... that people actually had to have worked for their art instead of just showing up on a television show and being force-fed to the public. I can dream.

MONTPELIER, Vt. – Richard Phillips, the ship captain toasted as a hero after he was taken captive by Somali pirates, ignored repeated warnings last spring to keep his freighter at least 600 miles off the African coast because of the heightened risk of attack, some members of his crew now allege.

Well, you can hardly blame the captain. Who's going to believe you when you tell the captain to look out for pirates? C'mon - what year is this?

Viewers of "The Today Show" Wednesday morning were treated to an unexpected interview and announcement by actress Meredith Baxter, who is best known for her role as mom Elyse Keaton on the beloved '80s sitcom "Family Ties." Baxter's interview with Matt Lauer started off a bit awkwardly, but finally the soft-spoken actress revealed her announcement: She is a lesbian. The thrice-married Baxter, who has five adult children, went on to explain that she's been living openly with her partner Nancy for years.

Well then, that's a relief! I was afraid we'd never know the truth about her. Now I can get some sleep. So, here's a question: Why is this an interesting news story and the junk about Tiger Woods is considered tabloid trash? It's suddenly mainstream media fodder to admit you're a homosexual but it's prying into ones personal business to talk about extra-marital affairs. That makes good nonsense. Suppose Tiger was having an affair with another man and he "came out?" Would that be on "The Today Show" too, or do you have to be a has-been 80s TV actress to get on? Just asking.

Starting this Saturday (December 5) at 8:00am, Walmart will be offering a $50 gift card with every Wii purchase, bringing the effective price of the console down to just $149.99 - and that's easily the best deal on a Wii ever seen.

And what will you spend the fifty bucks on? Wii games, that's what. Making the effective price $200. And I bet you have to wait 2 months to get the gift card - after you've clipped out the bar code and filled out five forms. What a deal! Whatever happened to cash? I wonder how popular the sale would be if the gift card was for $49.99 instead of $50? Can we stop it already with the 99 cents?

And while we're at it (or you're at it, more accurately) can we pass some legislation banning the nine-tenths at the end of the gasoline price? Try asking for a gallon and see what kind of change you get. Where's that nine-tenth's coin? It's back there with the further sixpence and shilling in the graveyard of lost world currency.