Monday, January 5, 2009

The many manifestations of suffering.

Head colds are the worst. My nose started tickling on Saturday, but I chose to ignore it, even though I knew exactly what was coming on Sunday.
To paraphrase J. Peterman, “My head is one gargantuan monkey fist.”
It’s a good excuse though - “I have a cold.” It can get you out of doing a lot of stuff you’d otherwise not do. The downside is that my lunch is tasteless.

“Oh, I’m sorry – I’m really fighting this head cold.” we say - as though we can fight them. I bought some liquid Tylenol and those Sudafed pills that look too small to work. (Which is probably why they don't) Now, I’m drinking water like crazy trying to fight off the full-body dry-out. That I can fight. The cold is another matter.

Getting up in the morning is a bitch. Lying horizontally brings all the junk to my head, and the first half hour is spent re-learning how to breathe. Nothing works right until I get into the shower and let the hot water steam me loose. I used to be able to use my nose. Now, I have to breathe like one of those geeky kids with the pocket protector and taped glasses.

It’s strange that I get them at all. I don’t touch people and when I am forced to shake hands, I run to the nearest sink to wash up. I guess that’s OCD? I watch people sneeze and cough into their hands because we were taught to cover our mouths when we sneeze. It seems to me like a barbaric practice. How about if you just spit into your hand?

I could have taken a sick day, I suppose, but it wouldn’t matter much since I’ll still be sick tomorrow and probably for another 13 days. They have to run their course. We’re told that by everyone except the people selling us the cold medications.

Meanwhile, my workplace MUZAK is still playing Christmas music, seemingly as a punishment for my sucking it up and coming to work. I think Christmas music on January 5 is a violation. After all, do you still play Sousa marches on July 5? Christmas is one of those holidays that lingers and dies a slow, painful death while so many of us continue to suffer.

Like a head cold.


kimmyk said...

bummer you're sick. sorry to hear that.

i hope you feel better soon!

susan said...


Are you near a good Jewish deli- and can get chicken and matzoh ball soup? That always makes me feel better.

Also- rent something fun like "Seinfeld" or "Sunny in Philly", and curl up on the couch with kitty.

Feel better, you Eagles fan.

Sparky Duck said...

I hear you, I do not know where all this mucuous comes from, possibly my toes

Anthony said...

susan: I just finished watching all 6 seasons of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" It took from NYE till now.

sparky: I know. I figure I'd run out at some point.